Liam's Loved Ones

Liam dearly loves his mommy and daddy and next to them - there are 3 beings that he loves most of all.   First and foremost after mommy and daddy (or, at times, before) Liam loves his big sister, Kyra.  They had a rough start with Liam biting, hitting and pushing Kyra, but now, if she's not home, he wanders around the house yelling, "Kir wa!  Kir wa!"  He welcomes her home with the biggest smile.  

Liam continues to love Sophie.  He especially loves to give her raspberries which Sophie CAN NOT stand.  But Sophie, being the lovable dog that she is, just jumps up and walks away.  She has earned her place in doggy heaven. 

When we returned from China, my mom (aka LaLa), was here for a week to help out.  She had already been here for 2 weeks keeping Sophie.   It took Liam awhile to warm up to LaLa.  We were working on attachment with me, so LaLa was keeping her distance so she wouldn't interfere with our attachment work. But by the end of the week, I think Liam couldn't stand to watch LaLa and her special Kyra having so much fun without him, so he joined in.  Now, Liam brings me the phone and I know he wants to talk to his LaLa.  I dial her up and then Liam walks around the house with the phone babbling away to his LaLa in an unidentifiable language.

 

Below are some of my favorite pictures of Liam and His Loved Ones. 

Sometimes Liam just walks up to his jie jie (big sister) and puts up his arms.  Kyra picks up her di di (little brother) and carries him around.  

He ain't heavy, he's my brother. 

The Best Present Ever!

Liam just gave me the best present!  A nice firm round ball of poo!  Disgusting topic, I know, but when you've been dealing with weeks of giardia  - this is the best present ever! 

Things and Stuff

Liam's Tummy:

Liam is still experiencing bouts of tummy pain in the middle of the night or when he wakes up.  I called the doctor on Friday and he said take him off of all dairy.  I thought she said he could still have the lactose free milk.  Apparently, the giardia eventually breaks down the intestinal walls and even after the giardia is gone, the intestines still have trouble processing foods - especially dairy.  (Has anyone ever noticed that we are the only beings on the planet that consume milk products as adults? Just a random thought...) The tummy pains have continued so a friend suggested I go dairy free completely.   Liam didn't like soy milk (which is from a soy BEAN, so is it a gas producing food?) , so I went to the natural foods store today and loaded up on a variety of dairy free products to try - enriched rice milk, coconut milk, hemp milk (all recommended by my friend whose daughter is allergic to dairy), rice yogurt, coconut milk yogurt, a lactose free vegan cheese and soy ice cream.  We'll see what he likes and hope it helps.  Meanwhile, we go back to the dr. for a growth chart check on Thursday. 

The good news is that last night when Liam was crying with tummy pains - he was in bed with me and he let me rub his back.  A breakthrough. 

Liam's Sleep: (or lack thereof...)

Liam napped 2-3 hours a day in China and still went to bed at 8:00.  I guess it was mental/emotional exhaustion or something because if he even naps 45 minutes now, he's up until 10:00 pm!  I had planned to use his naptime for special time with Kyra, but that is not to be.  

Liam and Kyra both fall asleep quicker and sleep better in bed with me.  Bottom line --- I NEED SLEEP!  So, we now have a family bed... sort of.  Craig, Kyra, Liam and I all lay in bed at 8:00 until the kids are asleep.  Craig and I get back up for awhile and then I squeeze back in bed later with the kids and Craig and the dog snuggle up in the guest room.  Obviously not the ideal situation, but I truly don't think our kids will be sleeping with us forever, so for now, we're just happy that they're sleeping!   

Liam's Language:

Liam's receptive language has improved by leaps and bounds!  He understands more and more things that we say.  He parrots a lot of words and has begun to use a few words in proper context. Here are some of the words that he uses appropriately: 

Daddy, Mamma, Mommy, Kyra, Sophie, LaLa, airplane, hello, b-bye, and car. 

He says three 2 words phrases: 

Daddy work, airplane sky (while pointing up at an airplane in the sky) and all done (when we're finished reading a book)

He still says m-goi when he wants something which is Cantonese for thank you for a service or please.   He still chatters away, but I have no idea if it's Cantonese or babble.  

They want to provide an interpreter for his Early Intervention Assessment, but when a lady at the local Chinese restaurant spoke to him in Cantonese - he shrank into my body and didn't reply to her questions.  I think he's afraid she would take him from me! 

Liam's Character:

Liam IS a character!  He's just so darn cute and his antics are so hilarious - he keeps Craig and I laughing.  He's destined to be the class clown!

Liam's Shoe Preference:

Craig is a bit worried about Liam's shoe preference.  He loves to put on Kyra and Mommy's shoes!   Slip-ons, flip flops, high heels, cowgirl boots, feathered princess shoes.... he loves them all!  

Liam's General Adjustment:

I think my neighbor's assessment just about sums it up.  He recently said something to the effect of:

 

I just can't believe it.  It's like he has always been here with you.

Craig and I agree.

Liam, take a bow!!!

Arms

Those same little arms that hugged me into heaven yesterday, broke my heart today.  Liam woke up crying and screaming right off the bat.  For no apparent reason.  And everytime I tried to pick him up and hold him - his little arms just kept pushing me away.  It broke my heart.  I didn't know if he was in emotional pain, maybe a bad dream or a sudden memory, or if he was in physical pain.  I felt helpless.  He wanted nothing to do with me or my consoling and just continued to push me away even as I held him in my arms.  And hold him I did.  I held him, rocked him, offered him a bottle which is always the ticket to consoling him, but the pushing continued.  And when he'd slip out of my arms, he'd back away behind a chair or table, pushing me away and screaming the whole time.  But if I'd relent and put him down, he'd cling to my legs.

Poor Kyra just sat and helplessly watched.  She often gets angry when he cries, screaming that she can't stand the noise, but even she could see that this was a truly troubled little boy.  Regardless of what kind of pain he was enduring - the most painful thing for me to see was that he could not accept any kind of consoling.   

I've become accustomed to him pushing away Craig or me when he's angry or throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't get something he wanted - this kind of pushing away I can deal with, but it is very painful for me to watch a child I love not be able to accept my love when he's hurting.  

I know this is very common behavior in a child with Liam's history who is not securely attached yet.  This not accepting consolation when hurt and simultaneously pushing away loved ones while clinging to them - I've read about it all.   And I just keep telling myself to "stay in his face".  Building attachment is hard work.  

Liam finally calmed down, I rocked him, talked to him and suddenly the screaming started again.  Again, he calmed down enough to drink his bottle and then he climbed down from my lap, sat on the family room rug and started happily playing. 

Now, somewhere along the line, I had managed to take his wet diaper off in an effort to make him more comfortable, but he refused to let me put on another one.  Now, as he sat happily playing on the family room rug --- I saw the light.  Or shall I say I smelled it.  Liam, who had been diagnosed with giardia, a parasite common in children adopted from China, obviously had been having severe tummy pains preceding a giant diarrhea attack.   I scooped the poop, happy that I now knew what was causing his physical pain, but still felt so sad that I couldn't help him while he was hurting.  I can only pray that the day will come when he'll trust me enough to hold him no matter what kind of pain he is in. 

Liam managed to be a heartbreaker again tonight - but in a good way this time.   Just before he fell asleep, he quietly said, "mamma", leaned over and gave me my second sweet Liam kiss.  

A Hug

Liam gave me my first hug today.   It wasn't one of those arms wrapped tightly around your neck hug.  Not yet.  It was his arms draped around my shoulders more tightly than usual and then...soft patting on my back from his little hand.  It was heaven.  

A Party for Liam

On Saturday, May 20, my two dear friends, Allyse and Angie, gave a wonderful ladies' brunch for Liam.  

It was so lovely and so fun!  Kyra, Liam and I  thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!  

Liam quickly learned what a present is!

Kyra had some of her own to open, too.

Liam loved his gifts - here he's reclining on his new Lightening McQueen fold out sofa!

Thank you Angie and Allyse - the hostesses with the mostestes. 

You sure know how to throw a party!

Music and Dance

Talent is everywhere in our house!   Kyra plays guitar and my mom aka LaLa sings...(sort of)

K

Kyra has always loved to dance.  It appears that we now have another dancer in the family!

You're cordially invited to the Princess and Super Hero Ball featuring Princess Kyra and Super Liam!  

Behind in Posts!

Yes, I've fallen behind in posts and no, I have no idea why my typing is being underlined.  I've tried every shortcut I know to change it.  Bear with me!   

My mom left on Sunday and Wednesday evening my sister-in-law and her two lovely children, Sveta and Sergie, also adopted, came to visit.  Of course, the house was very busy with 3 adults keeping up with 4 children.  I went to bed everynight with the kids!   So now it's time to start catching up on blogging!
Sveta and Sergie on the carousel at the mall.  Their first merry-go-round ride!  (Yes, my typing is normal now and I have no idea why.)

Kyra and Liam on the Carousel!  Liam LOVED it!  Everyone wanted a second ride!

Including mommy and daddy!

We Have Sleep!

Both Kyra and Liam slept from 8:00 pm to 6:00 am with only one bathroom run each!  Yea!!!!

A Boy and His Dog

Liam's first meeting with our beloved dog, Sophie, did not go well.  It did not go well AT ALL!  Although we had taken a photo album of pictures of Sophie to China to try to show Liam, he had no interest in looking at it.  The first time Liam laid eyes on Sophie, he screamed in terror. Then to make matters worse, in Sophie's excitement to meet the new little kid in our house, Sophie jumped up for a sniff and a lick (a bad habit we've worked years to break...) and accidently scratched Liam's leg.  Liam screamed even louder!
Liam continued to cry and scream hysterically every time Sophie came near him.  For two days, he was petrified of Sophie. 
In China, I had worried about Liam being aggressive with Sophie.  I feared for Sophie - that Liam would hit, push and bite her just as he had abused  Kyra in the beginning.   At least that wasn't happening because Liam wouldn't allow Sophie within 3 feet of him before screaming and running to me. 

After the first two days it became clear, as Liam's fear began to fade, that neither Sophie nor I had anything to fear.  Liam gradually began to make friends with Sophie and now he clearly loves her!  He says her name, "Dotee!" and talks about her a lot.  "Dotee woo!"  (Sophie woof!") Whatever else he is saying about "Dotee" in Cantonese - I can't understand.  He once saw Kyra calling for Sophie at the front door  and now he goes to the door as soon as we open it and yells "DOTEE!! DOTEE!!! DOTEE!!!" at the top of his little lungs - even if Sophie is standing right in front of him.   Liam loves to put his face in her fluffy tail when she wags it, and he loves to lay down in front of Sophie when she's resting and put his nose on Sophie's nose.  I have tried to catch both of these precious moments on film, but they have eluded me.  One of them always moves just a second too soon.  Liam gently pets Sophie and is forever feeding her treats that he has figured out how to get himself.  (I'll eventually put them away so I won't have a fat Sophie, but for now it's so sweet to watch.)  

 Sophie tries to lick Liam, but rarely can before Liam darts away.  When he gets a lick in- Liam just smiles and vigoriously wipes it off.  Every now and then, Sophie gets a lick that sticks -- right in the back of Liam's head! Sophie calmly endures Liam's attempts to put folding chip clips in her fur, sunglasses on her face and unwanted milk bones in her mouth. When she has had enough - she simply walks away.   Sophie has proudly taken on the task of keeping track of both of her charges- first following Kyra down the driveway, then coming back to check on Liam - then following Liam down the driveway and coming back to check on Kyra. Maybe she'll get enough exercise to keep those treats at bay! 

Liam tries to give Sophie some water from Liam's water bottle. 

Liam "chats" with Sophie in Cantonese (I think).

Liam makes Sophie look super cool.

A boy and his dog --- too sweet for words. 

Adjusting to a New Life

We are all adjusting to our new life in the Brown House. 

  Liam is doing amazingly well considering the huge changes that have occurred in his little life.  He has gone back and forth in being attached to Craig or me - it's whoever has been caring for him the most.  All of the literature says to just have the child attach to one person in the beginning, but with Kyra's needs - it's been hard to work it that way.  When we arrived home - because Daddy cared for Liam on our long flight - he only wanted Daddy and would push me away.  Knowing Craig was going back to work - I started caring for him more and now he will only play with Daddy if I'm right there.  Liam can't handle being in a different room from me for very long.  If I walk to another room for just a minute- he cries.  This is very common in toddler adoption, but makes it very hard for me to get anything accomplished in the house!  It will, hopefully, subside when he begins to trust that we're not going anywhere for very long.  

Kyra is trying to find her place in this new family.  She goes back and forth from being the helpful, playful, loving big sister to being the selfish, angry, jealous big sister.  Some of this depends on her amount of sleep and some of it depends on how Liam happens to be responding to her.  When they're getting along and playing together - it is a joy to watch!!!!

Mommy and Daddy are just trying to stay awake and keep the house and our old bodies together. Mommy often wonders how long she can keep up with a 2 year old at 49/50 yrs. of age and is feeling the weight of those years and Liam's bulk in my knees, ankles and lower back. There's a reason women aren't supposed to have babies after 45! 

 Having LaLa (my mom) here has been a huge help!  She has been doing way too much cooking and laundry (now matter how many times I tell her not to do so much) and her back is doing terribly!  But we're so thankful she's here!

The jet lag is gradually improving.  Kyra and Liam slept in until 4:30 this morning after I kept them to a 2 hour nap yesterday.  Hopefully we'll make it until 5:30 tomorrow morning!

Liam had his first pediatrician visit today. Overall, he was given a good bill of health.  She was quite impressed with his weight!  He was quite small before going into foster care, but excellent nutrition there put him high on the growth charts.  On the Chinese charts Liam is 75th percentile in height and 90th percentile in weight.  On the American charts he is 12th percentile in height and 50th percentile in weight.  His BMI is 17, so that is good!   I was surprised at the extremely large difference between Chinese and American growth charts in height.  

The pediatrician heard a blip in his heartbeat and gave it a name that sounds very scary, but she says it's considered a normal heart beat.  He'll be having an EKG on Monday to confirm.   He'll also being having blood tests to confirm his shots really were done in China.  He's been having loose poops, so I have the pleasure of collecting 4 poop samples- one every other day until Monday.  yippee!  We just want to rule out a parasite - it could be from stress and diet changes.  Today they did a TB test and because the syringe didn't go in correctly - they had to put it in twice.  He hardly flinched.  He totally cooperated with the doctor and nurses for their every request.   He is such a brave boy.  

Such a brave boy to do so well adjusting to his new life.  

We're Home!!!

An All-American Homecoming!

We arrived home on Wed. June 3 at 9:47 pm which is weird since we left Guangzhou, China on Wed. June 3 at 9:00 am, yet we had traveled for 27 hours--- in one day?  Anyway, that explains why I am just now making a blog entry!   Major jet lag at the Brown house!

I had tried to make a final blog entry before leaving China, but just as I sat down to blog on our last night there - our internet access that we had purchased expired.  I'll catch up now.  

Liam learned how to blow bubbles and thought that was a blast!!   Our final days in Guangzhou were spent doing last minute shopping, visiting with friends in our travel group, and hanging out in the park and at the pool.  This is Liam's poolside cover shot for GQ magazine!

Here, he appears to be checking out the cute twins in our travel group!
Kyra and Liam had some great bonding time in the baby pool.  : )
Family photo behind the gorgeous waterfall at the White Swan pool. 
Since one of the families in our travel group (pictured below on the left) were from Ireland and our Chinese American son has an Irish name - Liam Cameron ShuLi Brown- we felt it appropriate to visit an Irish pub in Guangzhou, China for dinner one night!
Bronze statues are found all over Shamian Island - where we were staying - in Guangzhou.  Liam liked one enough to give it a hug!
Kyra played ring around the rosy with them!
Our complete travel group from China Adoption With Love was made up of 19 families traveling with their children and some relatives.  By the time the 19 families got their 20 babies (which included a set of beautiful twins), we were quite a large group!  Here is a red couch picture.  Note the Little Emporer in the center of his many Little Empresses!
Only 4 families out of the 19 families had children from Guanzhou.  Brenden - our friend from Ireland - dubbed us the Guangdong Four!  Here are the children of the Guangdong Four!  (Minus Kyra who was rejected by her new brother, Liam, and was too sad to get in the picture.Liam was still overwhelmed and not happy about sitting on the red couch without mamma right next to him.) 
Things got better - Kyra and Liam on the red couch.
Finally it was time for Liam's first visit to an airport.  He was mesmerized by the airplanes!
And quite comfortable ON his first airplane!
He quickly became a seasoned traveler...
And quite enjoyed his second airplane ride which was in first class!!   He got a lot of chuckles from folks boarding who were headed back to coach as they commented that this little guy really didn't need that huge seat!  We had been saving frequent flier miles for 3 years in order to upgrade to first class and it was well worth it!  All of the flight attendents came to visit commenting on what a little man he was sitting up so straight and eating so politely in his giant seat.  He actually slept most of the way home!
We were met in the Newark Airport, where we had a connecting flight home, by Uncle Andrew and Uncle Travis who drove 3 1/2 hours to meet us and our good friends, John and Vicki with daughter Xiao Xiao who delayed their move to California for a few days so that they could come meet us for our 3 hour layover!  
My mom (dubbed LaLa by Kyra when she was 2 and she's still LaLa) and 7 great friends met us at our home airport with American flags, signs, hats and balloons.  It was a wonderful welcome home!  More homecoming pix in my next blog!

A mid-night snack (literally!) and off to bed at about 1:00 am.  Unfortunately, Kyra and Liam were back up at 4:00 am since this was just an afternoon nap on China time!  Note the red, white and blue table settings.  Mom had decorated with an American red, white and blue theme and it was a great sight to come home to!


And here we are 1 night later....

Nevertheless, it's good to be home.   Our family is now complete.