Liam's Family Day Celebration

May 25, 2010 was our 1 year anniversary of holding Liam in our arms for the first time. On that day, I explained to him that it was his Happy Family Day because it was the day we got him in China. His first response was, "No, don't take me back to China!" It took awhile to explain to him exactly what I meant and that we were not taking him back to live in China. Unfortunately, I later had to explain toLiam that we couldn't do Liam's actual Family Day Celebration on May 25th because after I bought a ton of Chinese food home - Craig called and said he'd be in a meeting until 9:30 that evening. The kids and I ate the food, and Liam was fine to wait until daddy could be at our formal celebration. We finally had Liam's celebration on Memorial Day.

Our Family Day Celebration celebrates the day Liam joined our family in China. That is the biggest focus of our celebration. We talk about when we went to China to adopt him and look at pictures of his adoption day in China. We not only celebrate him becoming an American citizen, but we celebrate Liam being a Chinese American. We pay respect to his heritage by eating Chinese food, hanging an embroidered cloth made in Kyra's province, Hunan, China, putting out our embroidered placemats, also made in Hunan, China and wearing traditional Chinese clothing. While we were in China, we bought 16 gifts for Liam - one for each Family Day Celebration until he is 18. This year we gave him a toy Chinese drum with his Chinese zodiac animal, the boar, on it. LaLa, my mom, bought cloissonne Christmas ornaments made in China for each of Liam's Family Days. He opened a blue and white one this year. I think Liam enjoyed his first Family Day Celebration. At least he enjoyed the food and gifts!

When we talked about getting him in China, he reminded us that he was not "the man's" little boy - he was daddy's little boy. He told us that he didn't want "the man" to take him. He didn't want anyone to take him. He may have memories of either his foster father taking him from the orphanage or a man from the orphanage taking him from his foster family. I'll never know for sure what he is talking about. He also may be talking about "the talk" I gave him after he kept running off from me in a store. How he needed to stay with me in the store because while most people are nice - there are some not nice people who might take him. Althought I never specifically mentioned " a man" taking him. I didn't mean to scare him, but having one of my children kidnapped in a store is one of my worst nightmares - certainly one of any parent's nightmares. His foster parents might be able to tell me more, as one big event that happened recently this year is that I was able to find his foster parents in China.

It used to be that foster parents would hide their names and addresses in the baby's clothes somewhere so the adoptive parents could find them and keep in touch. But apparently, some of the foster parents were asking the adoptive parents for money or hinting that they were in need of money, so China put an end to that by taking the babies back to the orphanage before they were adopted and bathing them and changing their clothes. Just a month or so ago, I contacted an American man, Brian Stuy who, for a very small fee, can try to find your child's foster parents. Brian is married to a Chinese woman who used to have a shop in Guangzhou, the city where Liam is from, and has 3 daughters adopted from China, one of which is from Liam's orphanage. He was able to find Liam's foster parents in 24 hours. They have sent a letter and several pictures of them with Liam. I have not shown Liam the pictures - my gut said not to show him and Kyra's attachment therapist confirmed my feeling saying that seeing the pictures could interfere with Liam's feelings of security. I do hope he will appreciate them someday as part of his life history and hopefully I can stay in touch with his foster parents so that Liam might meet them when we make a return trip to China 7 or 8 years from now.

We also recently ordered his files from the Half the Sky orphanage that he was in. Half the Sky is a US charity that sponsored Liam's orphanage. It provides sooo many services to orphanages, classrooms, materials, nannies, training for the nannies, the list is endless. Anyway, they keep progress reports and photos of each child and we were able to get them. It's so amazing to have this information and to have photos of him as a baby.

Liam has made great strides in the year he has been here. His language development has been amazing. He has a huge vocabulary and is working on articulation. He sees a speech therapist once a week. He gets extremely frustrated when I can't understand him, so I hope the articulation comes together soon!

He is potty training himself, but refuses to wear underwear. I can only think that since he came to me in underwear, there must have been some stiff consequences for an accident in his underwear and he doesn't feel ready to deal with those memories yet. He goes to sleep in his own bed or sometimes in a "tent" in his room, but still wants me to lay with him until he falls asleep. Some nights he wakes up crying and I bring him into my room, but he's sleeping longer before waking up - sometimes until 5 or 6 in the morning. Then he usually wants to get in bed with me and go back to sleep. One morning at about 5 am, he got out of his bed by himself, came down the hall, and burst into the room yelling, "I did it! I did it by myself! I got out bed and run to mommy's room by myself!" It was soooo cute. One night, he was sleeping in my bed and started laughing in his sleep. I loved hearing that - it means that the horrible night terrors of a year ago are being replaced by happy funny dreams.

Liam is a clown - he loves to just dance around doing these silly hilarious dances whether there is music or not. He especially loves to be naked and that always brings about a happy dance! Liam is particular about his clothes though. He still hates shoes, and prefers to have fun pictures on his shirts like cars, dogs, or sharks. He refuses to wear anything with buttons and is very unhappy when I wear buttons. The only person who he doesn't mind wearing buttons is daddy. I've never figured out what the button issue is.

Liam likes to sing. He can sing the alphabet song from beginning to end and always sings it while he washes his hands. He gets a lot of smiles in public restrooms! He still loves cars, trucks, trains, anything with wheels. He wants to be a fast race car. He also loves Diego, Batman, "Piderman", and "Doo-Doo Man" (Superman) He loves water whether he's in the tub or a pool. He did scare the daylights out of me two days ago when he jumped in a friend's pool without his floaties on. Fortunately, my friend's daughter was there to pull him up - he sank like a rock. I don't ever need to see that again!! Another parent's worst nightmare!!!

He is the sweetest little boy. When he's gone to the dr. with me and I'm laying on the exam table, he stands by me, rubs my arm and says, " It Oh Tay. It Oh Tay." What a love bug.

He's still friendly, saying hi to everyone and giving hugs to people we know. All of our friends just love a Liam hug. He usually enjoys talking to people and has the cutest facial expressions you've ever seen! He is just a joy to watch.

He's also very perceptive about people's emotions. He will say, "Mommy, you angry?" "Mommy, you happy?" "Mommy I want you be happy." He also likes to read emotions on character's faces in pictures books judging quickly by their facial expressions whether they are happy, sad, angry, scared. He loves books and could sit have your read to him for hours. And if you don't have a book handy, he'll ask you to "read" , meaning tell, him a story about mommy, Liam, Kyra, Daddy, Sophie and whoever else he wants to include in the story - Batman, Piderman, or maybe Doo-Doo Man.

Liam has his moments. He wants to be "first" to do this and that, so we have to take turns around here. He has a temper and once he loses it - he has a very hard time self-regulating.

I usually have to distract him with something wonderful to help him pull himself together. He completely falls apart if he figures out I took a shower without him. The bottom lip comes out and the tears start gushing. "Mommy, I take shower wif you."

He is doing better about staying with a sitter or his dad if I need to go out. We still don't go out much, but at least I don't have to face a complete meltdown when I do.

Liam and Kyra have continued to develop a wonderful relationship. They still have sibling rivalry issues that are normal - that's to be expected. But for the most part, they play together beautifully. She's often the mommy and he's the little boy, so when I hear him yell, "Mommy!" and I say "What?", he says, "No, uver Mommy!" They play everything from house to prince and princess to cars, trains or blocks. Kyra loves to mother him and is usually so very sweet with him. She also loves to pull and push him around in everything from plastic tubs to wheelbarrows. Liam positively loves "my tister" as he calls Kyra. When we drop her at school, he is so sad saying, "I miss my tister. I want my tister come home wif me." I love watching them together and I especially love that they will always have each other.

I love this little boy from the top of his head to the tips of his cute little toes. I can't imagine our lives without him. Even though Liam has only been with us a year, it seems like he has been a part of our family forever. As much as he still hates to separate from me, I feel like he's beginning to understand that we are his forever family. That is huge for a little guy in his little world. Hopefully, by his next Family Day, he will fully understand and believe that he is our forever son.