Kyra and Liam

Moving Again

2010-12-10T18:01:00.000-08:00

My blog is moving again and here is the new address:

http://web.mac.com/kimba.brown/Brown_Family/Kims_Homepage.html

I believe if you just type the following you'll get there, too.

http://web.mac.com/kimba.brown

Once you arrive, click on "Family Blog" at the top of the homepage.

And please be patient while I gain some experience in blogging at a different site.

If you have any interest in how this change came about... read on.

Back in March, I made the leap and began paying $99 per year to have a Mac website. Well, my cash made the leap, but I didn't quite reach the other side of the ravine. And it has been a very WIIIIDDDDEEEEE ravine. Also included with the website is something called "Web Gallery" where you can download your pictures directly from iphoto to an album in a gallery and email the album to all your friends and family. I took to that part quickly. The website was what made the ravine so wide - thus making the leap soooo long.

The website consists of a homepage, a blog, and a place for photos and videos. My neighbor promised me that if I changed from a PC to a Mac - he would be my in house tech support and I only need pay him with martinis. Well, I can only tell you that I'm waaaayyyy behind in my martini bill. He's given me a ton of support and with every lesson he gives me - I retain about 5%. Sad, isn't it? And he convinced me that this website would be easy to use - no time waiting for pictures to upload to blogger, etc... and he's absolutely right. It's just that it has taken me 9 months to complete this long scary jump.

Blogspot has been my home since I began blogging and it just felt safe to stay here. I attempted, back in March, to write a blog on my new website, but it was disastrous. Of course, if I hadn't been drinking the martinis I was paying my neighbor while he was teaching me how to blog on the new website..... I might have had more success. I made a mess of the blog and he patiently helped me straighten it out. But it has been sitting, unpublished, whereever unpublished blogs sit out in cyberspace, until I became brave enough to actually LAND on the other side of this ravine I've just been hanging over for 9 months.

So tonight is the night. The night I finish the big leap. I spent 1 hour and 45 minutes last week-end with my neighbor learning how to do a lot of things on my Mac and my new website. And since I didn't take a sip of anything except water the whole time - I probably retained a whole 10% this time!

So here it is again.

http://web.mac.com/kimba.brown/Brown_Family/Kims_Homepage.html

Leap Complete.

Bedtime

2010-11-14T17:17:00.001-08:00

Bedtime is soooo frustrating and just when we go 2 steps forward - something happens and we go 4 steps back. Kyra has always felt slighted that I have been the one getting Liam ready for bed and reading his stories while Daddy does Kyra's night routine. I started laying down with Liam until he fell asleep when he first came home. He was in a crib in our room at that time. Now he's in a big boy bed and I still laid down with him for a long time. When school started and Kyra started seeing me less, she decided she'd had enough of Daddy doing all the bed time routine. We started working on Liam letting Daddy read him stories. Liam will sometimes and sometimes he'll let Daddy brush his teeth. Then Kyra wanted to know why I laid down with Liam and not her. So I worked my way into the rocking chair in Liam's room and then to sitting in the hall between Liam and Kyra's room. When Liam got sick, he started wanting me to lay down with him again. Now I'm trying to work my way back to the hall, because Kyra is having a fit. I'm in the rocking chair tonight, on my way back to the hall.

My mom is here and I know she thinks I'm crazy and why don't I just tell them to go to bed and cry themselves to sleep. I'm sure many people reading this are wondering the same thing. Well, truthfully, I always wonder the same thing myself. I'm wondering if Kyra needs me in the hall because she's jealous or if she's really feeling more insecure now that she's away from me longer during the day. So, I go back to the books. I start reading about the trauma that my kids have been through and how the night time brings back a lot of fears for many of them. And then I become afraid of doing the wrong thing and making their trauma even worse. All I can really tell you is that this journey of parenting traumatized children is like riding a roller coaster. It straightens out and is smooth for awhile, and then suddenly it's a wild, out of control ride, and I just want to scream my head off. I know from everything I've read that this roller coaster isn't going to end any time soon. Every time a traumatized child goes through a developmental milestone, any type of transition, or even mildly overstimulating experience - the ride can get bumpy and feel out of control. Everytime our abandoned children reach the next level of understanding their own adoption story, they're going to respond to it differently. And every night, until they're ready, can be filled with the same fear and insecurity they felt the night they lay alone, in their box or basket on whatever street corner, door step, field or maketplace they were abandoned in. The security to fall asleep alone and sleep through the night comes at different times for different adopted children, but I've made a commitment - whether it's right or wrong - to stay by my children until they can fall asleep and sleep through the night on their own. Just please Dear Lord, help me have the strength and patience to do it - to give my children what they need and to have the confidence to know that I'm doing the right thing.

Highs and Lows

2010-11-12T18:07:00.001-08:00

Highs and lows, up and downs. That's been the pattern in our house for the past month and a half. One low has been how often I blog now. I've been sending picture galleries out to family which is really easy with the Mac program I joined - just a couple clicks. Then I don't feel the urgency to blog and let everyone know what we're doing. Of course, pictures usually only show all the highs -- not so much the lows.

Kyra has been having her own highs and lows since the beginning of October. For about a week and a half in the beginning of October, Kyra had daily rages. Every evening, there was a total out of control period for Kyra where she would completely lose it. Hitting, throwing, biting, spitting -- all directed at me. I couldn't figure it out. I asked her teacher if they had been doing any testing at school, anything stressful -- no, reading testing had been done the week before.

I had been stressed over an unrelated family situation and wondered if she was feeling my stress. After a week and a half, the rages ended as quickly as they started. And then as I was reading the book, Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child, it said that some kids who have what they refer to as "stress shaped brains" (which is definitely Kyra), can regress even when learning to read! As I thought about it, reading began to click for Kyra about the same time the rages ended. Could it be? I'm sure I'll never know for sure. Kyra is as glad as I am for that extra low period to be over. She still has periodic rages in the evening - and they make her as sad as they do me. Hopefully, one day they'll end for good. We keep testing, assessing, evaluating, trying different approaches and praying.

A high for me was planning Kyra's birthday party. She chose mermaids and I promised myself I'd keep it simple this year. But the ideas just kept coming! I LOVE the planning part - it's just that I need a staff to carry it through! I had a lot of ideas that just didn't happen, but overall, the party was a success and the kids had a great time.

The biggest challenge was making 11 mermaid tails since I can't even sew a button on. Once I figured out a pattern and got the hang of fabric glue - we were good to go. A low point was figuring out that something as simple as standing at my kitchen island for 2 hours and cutting and gluing fabric is not something you can do if you have arthritis in your neck and thumb joints. This was a rude awakening for me that my body is actually not as young as my brain feels! Several days and massages later, I was on the go again - spacing out the mermaid tail making over days instead of hours. They ended up being worth every minute and painful joint -- the girls loved them!!!

Of course, the 2 boys, Sean and Liam, wouldn't want to be mermaids, or even mermen, so I worked 2 pirates into the party theme!
Kyra wanted Daddy to be Scuttle from The Little Mermaid movie. It was a high point for everyone, including Daddy!
It's hard to believe there were 7 candles with 1 to grow on. It seems like just yesterday there were only 2 candles on Kyra's cake.
A high point for Liam was being Balloon Boy. He wanted to fly like the house in the movie "Up". Kyra tied on all the balloons still left at the party after the kids took what they wanted, took him outside, but then the low point came -- Liam still couldn't fly. He loved trying anyway!
A high point for Kyra, and a low point for Liam, was that Kyra got to have 2 more birthday celebrations. One at school and another on her real birthday. Kyra was loving it, but when we woke up the morning of Kyra's birthday and I started singing "Happy Birthday" to Kyra, Liam put his finger over my lips and said, "Shhh... Kyra's birthday is over. " Once we went downstairs and Kyra was so excited over the gift Liam gave Kyra (the Build a Bear balloon that Liam got to "build" inside of the balloon wrap) Liam was in party mode again.

Kyra - my seven year old princess!

Liam has had a very long low period from about the middle of October until now. Liam started with congested sinuses that just wouldn't open up. He couldn't blow anything out, so at night it would drain and he would cough and cough. Between that and the time I was putting into Kyra's 3 celebrations, Liam began to regress. There was baby talk, needing to be carried, even asking for his bottle. During Kyra's party, he was so jealous of the attention she was getting that I had to carry him most of the time and he suddenly had to use the potty right in the middle of the party story. I figured it was a combination of the party, the illness, the lack of sleep - but whatever the reason, he needed more from mommy to feel better. After 16 days of congestion and coughing, the dr. put him an anti-biotic. 5 days later, the dr. added Zyrtec (which we'd already tried but gotten no results from) and a prescription nasal spray. It turns out the poor little guy's nasal passageways were completely swollen shut from either infection or allergies. Almost 4 weeks later, he's finally starting to recover. When he's completely better, we'll start allergy tests and visit an ENT to look at his adenoids. And as Liam's health is heading toward a high....Kyra woke up this morning with her own cold. It seems as though the highs and lows never end. Meanwhile, Liam asks almost every day if it's time to plan his birthday party. : )

Halloween was a high point! On our first time out, we went trick or treating at the Farmers Market. Kyra, my candy lover, anxiously visited every table, but after a few tables, Liam just started saying, "No thank you." No thank you to candy???? Whoever heard of that??? I need to teach him to at least take it for mommy! Kyra wore her bunny outfit to school and walked in her school parade while Liam and I watched. On Halloween, Liam wanted me to dress like a princess because he was a dragon. I happily donned the dress I wore for Kyra's princess party 3 years ago. Craig was supposed to be a king, but Liam had to settle for a repeat of Scuttle. Kyra was our royal bunny.

Another high point lately was a day trip to the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, MA where never before seen items from the Forbidden City in China are on exhibit for the first time ever!

Kyra and I went with friends on the day they held a Chinese festival. Stories, crafts, music - the girls enjoyed the festival activities far more than the exhibit.

A low point of fall for me is watching all the leaves fall. But for kids - fallen leaves are a highlight! Worrying about ticks is a low point, but do I worry about ticks or let kids enjoy what fall is all about? I opted for fall fun.

Sophie had a definite low today - she had to go to the groomers to get ready for a high point - a visit from LaLa! Yes, Grandma Linda will be here tomorrow and everyone is sooo excited!

Sophie. Such a pretty girl - and she seems to be asking, "Now, why did you need to get that other dog, Sunny?" But that's for another blog....

Enjoy a tour of the birthday party!

How Can My Baby Girl be 7???!!!

2010-10-30T19:12:00.001-07:00

Watch my baby girl grow...

Into my 7 year old beautiful Chinese American dumpling.

Summer Into Fall

2010-09-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

In my last blog which was so very long ago, I said I'd upload the pictures of our gondola ride up Wildcat Mountain and the hike to the Glen Ellis waterfalls. It turns out that uploading pictures from Craig's new camera requires me to upload one picture at a time. I might have been able to do 2 or 3, but I sure couldn't do the usual 5. The pixels make the photo info. to big to upload 5 at once I guess. Anyway, here are two pictures. We've made it our goal, when Liam is a little older, to hike in to all of the falls in the White Mountain area. There aren't that many, but one is 100 ft. tall (this one was 65 ft.) and none of the hikes are more than a couple miles - most are around a mile. It was gorgeous seeing the falls - Kyra was in heaven, but we had to carry Liam in and out. He wasn't much into hiking at the time. We recently went on a little hike near our home though and he was a real trooper, so there is hope!

If anyone would like to see more pictures of the falls and mountain, I can easily send all the photos out on MobileMe.

The biggest trip of summer was a week at our old hometown in WV. We spent time visiting family and connecting with cousins.

Visiting Grandparents.

And attending the 3 day Swaim Family Reunion.

All of the children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and cousins of the above 6 siblings!

Kyra had a great time meeting cousins she had only seen pictures of.

We stayed in a 100 year old lodge where Craig couldn't believe that we had no phone or TV and shared the bathroom down the hall with another room. We did have an ice bucket though!

Liam really did enjoy playing with all of his cousins, but he did NOT want to be in this picture!

Kyra made her stage debut. (After she and her cousin decorated themselves with face paint...)

Mommy was in the play, too! It was 3 days that we will all remember forever. If anyone hasn't seen our pictures from the reunion - I can send them on MobileMe as well.

Of course, the biggest event in August was Kyra starting first grade. We had a very rough start. As I started talking about buying school supplies, Kyra became more and more anxious about being in school all day. She told me that she was afraid because the teachers were going to be bossy! Apparently, the kindergarten teachers spent a lot of time telling the kids that first grade teachers were "very serious". They may have told them more, but that's all that registered with Kyra. We had taken Kyra off of the Targeted Amino Acid Therapy that she was doing so well on because we couldn't find any studies of long term effects of the therapy. We took her off in June and I watched as she progressively deteriorated throughout the summer and her relationship with her brother went down the tubes. When we started talking about getting school supplies, Kyra started having major rages like she started having the summer after Liam came home. We put her back on the Targeted Amino Acid Therapy and the rages disappeared about 3 days later. It was amazing. There was still anxiety about school, but she was more in control. The principal has been wonderful and as soon as I called him, he began working with me to ease her back in to school. He suggested I bring her to the playground some day and he'd casually come out and visit. Then he had the teacher call me so we could arrange for Kyra to privately meet her teacher and see her classroom in advance. She loved her teacher from the minute she met her (thanks to my 2 page letter concerning Kyra's placement, the principal had placed her with the nicest teacher he has!) and this relieved a lot of her anxiety. It's just so wonderful to have her in a school that has worked with me so closely to insure a good school experience for Kyra.

Kyra now loves first grade. She gets off the bus full of smiles and stories about her day. The anxiety is still there and there have been some rough evenings, but we are working through it.

Kyra's First Day of First Grade

Liam was scheduled to begin pre-school in Sept., but it just didn't work out. He tried it for a day and only stayed without sobbing because I finally promised I would stay in the school lobby the whole time in case he needed me. I walked out of his classroom and sobbed so uncontrollably that the school secretary sent the director of the preschoool program out to talk to me. I wanted to think that Liam might relax and enjoy himself, but my gut told me that he just wasn't ready for preschool yet. He remained on the verge of tears between each activity and upon seeing me at the end of the 2 1/2 hours, burst into sobs. It seemed to be a release of what he'd been holding in all morning and a huge relief to him that I was really there waiting for him. The second day, I couldn't even get him out of the car. He pleaded with me not to send him to preschool. I followed my gut and took him home. He has plenty of time to go to school. I know it was the right decision.

There were lots of other highlights this summer into fall.

Kyra fell in love with weeping willows.

Liam continued his love for building....

and building....

stopping long enough to let his artistic sister surprise mommy with this little ghost...

and then back to more building. Liam built this creation for his friend Sean who lives an hour away. He wanted me to send it to him. I said I could send a picture instead.

Liam continues to grow in leaps and bounds in every way. He is still mommy's boy wanting to be with me above everyone else, but now does many more activities with daddy and still adores his sister, Kyra. His vocabulary has grown tremendously and his articulation is improving.

Liam is, quite simply, a treasure. We are truly blessed.

In August, we added our new member to our family.

I'd like to introduce Sunny.
Sunny is a rescue - I adopted him in a moment of weakness and total insanity. He traveled up here on a huge truck from the south, loaded with dogs who were mostly rescued from kill shelters. Sunny had been rescued from a kill shelter in Arkansas. The fact that this sweet lovable dog was in line to be put to death is unthinkable for me. When he came to the agency that we adopted him from, he had heart worm, intestinal worms and fleas. He'd obviously had a rough life.

I only went to visit a friend who was volunteering at the rescue event on a Saturday afternoon when Liam and I were just cruising around in our convertible (yes, a highlight of summer for me - we bought a new (used) convertible - MY mid-life crisis car!) I couldn't believe the number of dogs that still hadn't found homes by 5:00. I called Craig to bring Kyra to PetSmart although I refused to tell him why. When he got there, I was carrying around a 9 week old shitzu mix puppy. I thought Kyra would adore it, but she headed over to Sunny's crate whose name at the time was "Red". I had looked at Sunny earlier, but there was an "adopted" tag on his crate. (Don't like to use that term with animals for obvious reasons, but everyone does.)

The tag was now mysteriously gone. Kyra walked Sunny (called Red at the time) around for 45 minutes while Craig went home to get Sophie to see if the two would get along. I fully expected Sophie to attack Sunny - she has no use for little young dogs. Oddly, she liked him. So before you knew it, Sunny (named by Kyra who didn't like the name Red) was ours.

Sunny was described as a "golden retriever mix", but other than his loving personality, all of his behaviors scream "HOUND"!!!! He had obviously never even been in a house before as he began counter surfer and even jumped up on the kitchen table - standing on it on all fours to check our Kyra's sandwich! I was mortified. We were off to a terrible start as we discovered that he was not at all house trained, had oily smelly fur, shed a lot and was constantly getting diarrhea - relieving himself all over our front yard. What the heck had I been thinking. The last straw almost came when he growled at the kids. I contacted the agency and began communicating with the animal behaviorist who had been there the day we brought home this untrained nuisance. She sent us a 10 step program that we were to follow strictly. Gradually, things began to turn around. Sunny never growls at Kyra and very very rarely at Liam who usually did something to deserve a back off growl. He is trying so very hard to be a good boy and is really a sweet sweet dog who obviously had a hard crappy life. Yes, it was a moment of insanity, but I thought that day, and I still think, that Sunny came into our life for a reason. Heaven help me, I have no idea what it is at this point, but I'm sure we'll find out.

As if Sunny joining our family wasn't a big enough storm, the kids experienced their first hail storm and it was unlike anything I'd ever seen. It wasn't so much the size of the hail (as seen above next to a dime), but the amount of hail and how incredibly fast it poured down. Of course, Kyra, my ice lover, wanted to eat it all, but settled for just carrying it around in hands while it dripped all over the floor.

The highlight of September was the Fairy House Tour. It was magical seeing all of these little girls dressed as fairies everywhere you looked. Fairy Houses were everywhere built by artists and by children. The girls even got to build their own fairy house and watch dances from The Fairy House Ballet. Chasing fairy bubbles was a huge highlight! (I can send more fairy house pictures on MobileMe to anyone who's interested.)

Nothing better than eating Fairy Fluff!

Except, that is, unless it's having your very own little fairy!

Kyra is mine.

Summer Review in Reverse!

2010-07-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

I forgot that when I upload photos to blogger - I have to upload them in reverse - so we'll start with our most recent activities and go backwards!!! And as our summer as been busy and I've been exhausted by night time --- comments will be brief!

Last week-end we took an awesome 3 day trip to the White Mountain area. I don't have the pictures of our hike to the 65 foot water falls or our ride up the mountain in the gondola uploaded yet since they're on Craig's camera, but I'll post those later.

Part of our trip included a Saturday morning with all things Thomas the Train! Liam loved it!

They had a hay maze that Kyra was fascinated by. Also an Imagination Station with Thomas the train tables that Liam played at and crafts, tatoos and facepainting for Kyra.
They both LOVED their first train ride. (Kyra had gone on one at 3, but didn't remember it)

And the best part was that our train was pulled by none other than Thomas the Tank Engine!
Another day of our trip was spent at StoryLand, a small, but delightful amusement park for young kids. Kyra, the Princess, and Liam, the Dragon had a ball! Liam is getting ready to blow fire here!
Rides galore! Liam and Kyra's favorite was the Polar Coaster - a roller coaster for younger kids. Their second favorite was a raft ride where we all got soaked. It felt great since it was 90 degrees that day! Almost unheard of that far north!
July 4th, we enjoyed our annual festival on the Amherst green and the Amherst parade. It doesn't get anymore New England than celebrating July 4th in the quaint little village of Amherst.

After 4 or so months of piano lessons, and the purchase of a beautiful new piano - Kyra decided that what she really loves is the harp. So harp lessons began. Fortunately, you can rent a harp, so if she sticks with it until fall we will look into that. Meanwhile, we go to the music school for practice.
A week after her harp lessons started, our beautiful Charles Walter piano, hand made in the US, was delivered. It's beautiful in our living room and I start lessons in the fall. Meanwhile Kyra continues to play the songs she learned and I'm teaching myself some of them, too.
Craig had his first Father's Day as Liam's dad. It was a wonderful day although Craig was more than surprised at his unusual gift. Rock Band for the Wii. The kids love it - Kyra bangs the drums, Liam plays the guitar and mommy wails "Hungry Like A Wolf" in perfect key! Dad mostly laughs - but I heard him wailing to some songs with the kids when he thought I wasn't listening!
We raised butterflies from larvae and it was an educational experience and a great lesson in life. We learned that some butterflies are ready to fly away quickly, some are slower and need to hang around and practice short flying trips before they fly away and one of ours was born severely handicapped - 1/2 of a wing, 1 leg, 1 antennae - very sad. We helped her get out of her chrysalis and hand fed her sugar water and oranges, but she died after 4 days. The kids really loved the whole experience though.

And our big beginning of summer was Kyra's kindergarten graduation. Yes, my baby girl graduated from kindergarten. Hard to believe.

So far it's been a busy and happy summer. Tomorrow we leave for a week in WV for my family's 3 day family reunion. It should be a blast! Kyra and Liam will be meeting family they've never laid eyes on before. It will be a reunion to remember I'm sure!

My Birthmother Didn't Love Me

2010-06-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

It's 2:30 am and my heart is so full of despair and sadness that I can't sleep. Last evening, Kyra told me that her birthmother didn't keep her because she didn't love her. As many times as I've told Kyra the possible reasons her birthmother had to give her up, she doesn't believe it. Even when I asked if all her Chinese adopted friends were also given up because their birthmothers didn't love them, she says no, she was the only one whose birthmother didn't love her. She can't tell me why she thinks that.

Today, after listening to the second class I'm taking online with a friend, a realization finally sunk in. The class is about how to parent traumatized children. It focuses on post-institutionalized children, but is really about parenting a child from any type of trauma. It was after listening to the class today that it really hit me. I'm parenting a truly special needs child. I've known this for a long time, but haven't really known it. Kyra was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder(PTSD) a year ago, and for a year, I've read everything I can find about PTSD. I know the facts. But it took this class to slap me in the face and say, wake up! Stop asking yourself why your child can't act like other kids her age, do things other 6 year olds are doing, behave the way other 6 year olds behave. Stop being frustrated and wondering why she can't just be "normal" or "average". You know why!!!! She physiologically can not.

So why can't Kyra believe that her birthmother loved her? It is because of a brain that is now hardwired to see herself as undeserving of her birthmother's love. Hardwired to keep calling to me wherever I am in the house to make sure that I haven't left her,too. Hardwired to wake up at night and seek me out - too fearful to even go to the bathroom alone much less back to sleep. Hardwired to be so frightened of being away from me for fear than I might not come back to get her. It is the trauma of abandonment and a year of not being properly nurtured in an orphanage that has created this hardwiring. There is much research to tell me this, but no conclusive research on why some post-institutionalized children suffer so much more than others. They do know that kids like Kyra have a brain that is out of whack. Kids like Kyra are in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze. The behaviors that result from this kind of a stress level are many and they don't respond to mainstream discipline techniques. It can be exhausting which is why I ended up sitting on another adoptive mother's sofa today, crying from the mental exhaustion of a particularly rough week mothering Kyra and just feeling like I'm not doing a good job of it at all.

When I was teaching school, the special needs children were always put in my class. The ones who needed extra love were always put in my class. The principal actually said, "Multiple personalities? Put her in Kim's class - she'll love everyone of them!" And I did. After watching me in the hall with an Asperger's student (high functioning autism) that was in my class - another teacher commented, "I don't know how you do it, Kim. I couldn't take it, I couldn't deal with him, and you just stand there so calm and totally unphased by him. You missed your calling not being a special ed. teacher. " This student's panel of psychologist and psychiatrist suggested at his final IEP meeting that year, that the perfect answer for him was for me to be his teacher all the way through high school. But being a special ed. teacher wasn't my calling. Being Kyra's mother was. I just have to keep remembering the class I'm taking. Kyra's behaviors are the result of deep trauma to her brain and the brain is like plastic. It can be changed, she can be healed.

So today, as I sat through a piano/harp recital with Kyra on my lap while she fidgeted and squirmed, needed to stand up periodically, and actually needed to hang her head down upside down to try and regulate herself, instead of saying to her, "Kyra, why can't you just sit still on the seat beside me? Why can't you sit still like these other kids your age? Sit up and stop hanging upside down!" , I reminded myself that she physiologically can not. My daughter is a special needs child and no, it's not obvious like autism, so yes, people are probably thinking, "Why can't she make her child sit still? or "Why doesn't she have that child on ritalin?" , but I don't care anymore. If Kyra is dysregulated - whether it's because she's anxious or she's been eating too much wheat or she hasn't had enough sensory activities that day - Kyra is hyperactive. She can not help it. She can not sit still anymore than the pianist who appeared to be autistic couldn't stop saying OK until he started playing, or the harpist could barely make his legs work correctly to get to the stage, but his fingers worked fine. They are all special needs.

I am praying that this sudden reality check will help me find a way to stay more regulated when Kyra is dysregulated. I'm praying that God gives me the strength and the perseverance and the patience to help my daughter heal. She has a beautiful inner soul. She has an unbelievable ability to love and a kind and good heart. All of these things are often shrouded by her behaviors that stem from fear - that stem from living in a state of stress. I wish I could just take it all away and give her immediate relief. Sadly, there is no quick fix. What I can do is try everything within my power to help her heal. To help my rose continue to bloom.

Liam On the Potty

2010-06-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

Don't read this post unless you have a stronger stomach.... Liam is going on the potty more and more. He especially likes to name his poops. If there are 2 poops - the big one is always Mommy and the little one is always Liam. 3 poops are Mommy, Kyra and Liam is the smallest. If there are 4 poops - the biggest is Daddy and so forth down to Liam. The best time of all is when there are 5 poops! Sophie joins the gang! The Poop Family. : )

Liam's Family Day Celebration

2010-06-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

May 25, 2010 was our 1 year anniversary of holding Liam in our arms for the first time. On that day, I explained to him that it was his Happy Family Day because it was the day we got him in China. His first response was, "No, don't take me back to China!" It took awhile to explain to him exactly what I meant and that we were not taking him back to live in China. Unfortunately, I later had to explain toLiam that we couldn't do Liam's actual Family Day Celebration on May 25th because after I bought a ton of Chinese food home - Craig called and said he'd be in a meeting until 9:30 that evening. The kids and I ate the food, and Liam was fine to wait until daddy could be at our formal celebration. We finally had Liam's celebration on Memorial Day.

Our Family Day Celebration celebrates the day Liam joined our family in China. That is the biggest focus of our celebration. We talk about when we went to China to adopt him and look at pictures of his adoption day in China. We not only celebrate him becoming an American citizen, but we celebrate Liam being a Chinese American. We pay respect to his heritage by eating Chinese food, hanging an embroidered cloth made in Kyra's province, Hunan, China, putting out our embroidered placemats, also made in Hunan, China and wearing traditional Chinese clothing. While we were in China, we bought 16 gifts for Liam - one for each Family Day Celebration until he is 18. This year we gave him a toy Chinese drum with his Chinese zodiac animal, the boar, on it. LaLa, my mom, bought cloissonne Christmas ornaments made in China for each of Liam's Family Days. He opened a blue and white one this year. I think Liam enjoyed his first Family Day Celebration. At least he enjoyed the food and gifts!

When we talked about getting him in China, he reminded us that he was not "the man's" little boy - he was daddy's little boy. He told us that he didn't want "the man" to take him. He didn't want anyone to take him. He may have memories of either his foster father taking him from the orphanage or a man from the orphanage taking him from his foster family. I'll never know for sure what he is talking about. He also may be talking about "the talk" I gave him after he kept running off from me in a store. How he needed to stay with me in the store because while most people are nice - there are some not nice people who might take him. Althought I never specifically mentioned " a man" taking him. I didn't mean to scare him, but having one of my children kidnapped in a store is one of my worst nightmares - certainly one of any parent's nightmares. His foster parents might be able to tell me more, as one big event that happened recently this year is that I was able to find his foster parents in China.

It used to be that foster parents would hide their names and addresses in the baby's clothes somewhere so the adoptive parents could find them and keep in touch. But apparently, some of the foster parents were asking the adoptive parents for money or hinting that they were in need of money, so China put an end to that by taking the babies back to the orphanage before they were adopted and bathing them and changing their clothes. Just a month or so ago, I contacted an American man, Brian Stuy who, for a very small fee, can try to find your child's foster parents. Brian is married to a Chinese woman who used to have a shop in Guangzhou, the city where Liam is from, and has 3 daughters adopted from China, one of which is from Liam's orphanage. He was able to find Liam's foster parents in 24 hours. They have sent a letter and several pictures of them with Liam. I have not shown Liam the pictures - my gut said not to show him and Kyra's attachment therapist confirmed my feeling saying that seeing the pictures could interfere with Liam's feelings of security. I do hope he will appreciate them someday as part of his life history and hopefully I can stay in touch with his foster parents so that Liam might meet them when we make a return trip to China 7 or 8 years from now.

We also recently ordered his files from the Half the Sky orphanage that he was in. Half the Sky is a US charity that sponsored Liam's orphanage. It provides sooo many services to orphanages, classrooms, materials, nannies, training for the nannies, the list is endless. Anyway, they keep progress reports and photos of each child and we were able to get them. It's so amazing to have this information and to have photos of him as a baby.

Liam has made great strides in the year he has been here. His language development has been amazing. He has a huge vocabulary and is working on articulation. He sees a speech therapist once a week. He gets extremely frustrated when I can't understand him, so I hope the articulation comes together soon!

He is potty training himself, but refuses to wear underwear. I can only think that since he came to me in underwear, there must have been some stiff consequences for an accident in his underwear and he doesn't feel ready to deal with those memories yet. He goes to sleep in his own bed or sometimes in a "tent" in his room, but still wants me to lay with him until he falls asleep. Some nights he wakes up crying and I bring him into my room, but he's sleeping longer before waking up - sometimes until 5 or 6 in the morning. Then he usually wants to get in bed with me and go back to sleep. One morning at about 5 am, he got out of his bed by himself, came down the hall, and burst into the room yelling, "I did it! I did it by myself! I got out bed and run to mommy's room by myself!" It was soooo cute. One night, he was sleeping in my bed and started laughing in his sleep. I loved hearing that - it means that the horrible night terrors of a year ago are being replaced by happy funny dreams.

Liam is a clown - he loves to just dance around doing these silly hilarious dances whether there is music or not. He especially loves to be naked and that always brings about a happy dance! Liam is particular about his clothes though. He still hates shoes, and prefers to have fun pictures on his shirts like cars, dogs, or sharks. He refuses to wear anything with buttons and is very unhappy when I wear buttons. The only person who he doesn't mind wearing buttons is daddy. I've never figured out what the button issue is.

Liam likes to sing although it's not his strong point. He can sing the alphabet song from beginning to end and always sings it while he washes his hands. He gets a lot of smiles in public restrooms! He still loves cars, trucks, trains, anything with wheels. He wants to be a fast race car. He also loves Diego, Batman, "Piderman", and "Doo-Doo Man" (Superman) He loves water whether he's in the tub or a pool. He did scare the daylights out of me two days ago when he jumped in a friend's pool without his floaties on. Fortunately, my friend's daughter was there to pull him up - he sank like a rock. I don't ever need to see that again!! Another parent's worst nightmare!!!

He is the sweetest little boy. When he's gone to the dr. with me and I'm laying on the exam table, he stands by me, rubs my arm and says, " It Oh Tay. It Oh Tay." What a love bug.

He's still friendly, saying hi to everyone and giving hugs to people we know. All of our friends just love a Liam hug. He usually enjoys talking to people and has the cutest facial expressions you've ever seen! He is just a joy to watch.

He's also very perceptive about people's emotions. He will say, "Mommy, you angry?" "Mommy, you happy?" "Mommy I want you be happy." He also likes to read emotions on character's faces in pictures books judging quickly by their facial expressions whether they are happy, sad, angry, scared. He loves books and could sit have your read to him for hours. And if you don't have a book handy, he'll ask you to "read" , meaning tell, him a story about mommy, Liam, Kyra, Daddy, Sophie and whoever else he wants to include in the story - Batman, Piderman, or maybe Doo-Doo Man.

Liam has his moments. He wants to be "first" to do this and that, so we have to take turns around here. He has a temper and once he loses it - he has a very hard time self-regulating.

I usually have to distract him with something wonderful to help him pull himself together. He completely falls apart if he figures out I took a shower without him. The bottom lip comes out and the tears start gushing. "Mommy, I take shower wif you."

He is doing better about staying with a sitter or his dad if I need to go out. We still don't go out much, but at least I don't have to face a complete meltdown when I do.

Liam and Kyra have continued to develop a wonderful relationship. They still have sibling rivalry issues that are normal - that's to be expected. But for the most part, they play together beautifully. She's often the mommy and he's the little boy, so when I hear him yell, "Mommy!" and I say "What?", he says, "No, uver Mommy!" They play everything from house to prince and princess to cars, trains or blocks. Kyra loves to mother him and is usually so very sweet with him. She also loves to pull and push him around in everything from plastic tubs to wheelbarrows. Liam positively loves "my tister" as he calls Kyra. When we drop her at school, he is so sad saying, "I miss my tister. I want my tister come home wif me." I love watching them together and I especially love that they will always have each other.

I love this little boy from the top of his head to the tips of his cute little toes. I can't imagine our lives without him. Even though Liam has only been with us a year, it seems like he has been a part of our family forever. As much as he still hates to separate from me, I feel like he's beginning to understand that we are his forever family. That is huge for a little guy in his little world. Hopefully, by his next Family Day, he will fully understand and believe that he is our forever son.

Kyra's First Ballet Recital

2010-05-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

When Kyra was 4, she took ballet, but had no desire to be in the recital. Halfway through the year, she asked to drop ballet. Being away from me for 30 more minutes than was absolutely necessary was just too much. I had to sit right in front of the door where she could always see me. It was stressful for both of us, I was sad, but also relieved that she wanted to drop.

This past December, age 6, Kyra asked to take ballet again. I signed her up in a class where she knew 2 of the girls hoping it would make it easier for her. She settled in easily and wanted to be in the spring recital. I paid the registration fee for the costume and wondered if she would actually go through with an on- stage performance at the Dana Center - a large venue at a local college. The months went by, Kyra learned her routine, got her costume which she thought was "beautiful with the flower overlay", and two weeks before the recital said, "I want to drop ballet." Cold feet maybe? Just getting tired of school and classes and practices? Maybe. But I put my foot down on this one. She wasn't dropping ballet.

By this week, Kyra was getting excited about the recital. We weren't allowed to watch the dress rehearsal, but Kyra lined up, went to the stage and the teacher's assistant said she did great on stage. No stage fright, no melt downs as she left me to go to the stage, but then I screwed up. I had promised her I would be in the classroom when she came back from the stage. But while she was on stage rehearsing, Liam began to get restless in the classroom. Another 3 year old little brother was running around in the lobby, so Liam and I went out to join him and his mother. I thought I would see Kyra come out of the stage door where I had seen other little girls come out , but just my luck, her class came out the door I had my back to. The mother I was talking to said, "There they are," and I turned around to see the last couple of girls enter the classroom. I took off running leaving Liam to yell, "Wait, Wait!" and run after me, but I knew I had broken my promise to Kyra by leaving the room and she would be a wreck. Sure enough, as I ran into the room, she turned to me with terror on her crumpled face and sobbing hysterically. Then the anger came. There was no calming her. I held her and tried to comfort her, but she was angry. I had promised. I broke my promise. I couldn't calm her and was feeling frustrated with myself and with her and becoming more and more emotionally exhausted.

As we were driving home, I asked her, "Kyra, what is it that you're thinking in your brain when you're so afraid I will leave and not come back." And then there was a huge breakthrough.

She answered, "My birthmother left me and she didn't come back." My heart lurched. While I had always known this was the root of her fear - she had never verbalized it. This felt huge to me. I explained to her that I wasn't living under the conditions that her birthmother was - the one child law and poverty - and there would never be any reason for me to leave her. And think about what I had done to adopt Liam - the paperwork and meetings and traveling halfway around the world - I had done the same for her. She agreed that it wasn't likely someone would do all of that and then leave. By then we were home and she was hopping out of the car onto something else. I still feel like this was huge, and will be working to "install" these ideas of how I'm not living under conditions where I will ever be forced to leave her.

Fast forward 2 days and it was time for Kyra's recital. Would my screw up at dress rehearsal affect her? I hoped not.

Ballerinas plus Liam before the Recital

A Ballerina Pose before Performance

I left Kyra in the classroom lined up with the other ballerinas 15 minutes before her performance. I explained I would come back to the classroom after the recital, but that we were sitting close to the front so it might take me awhile and not to worry if other mother's got there before me. She seemed fine. She was excited about the performance and happy with her hair (put up by her usual hairdresser that morning), her make-up (so grown up) and her costume. She looked beautiful! I think she felt beautiful. I sat in the audience and from where we were, I could see her backstage looking all around the audience for us. I was glad we were sitting where I could see her backstage. I put my arm up and waved until she saw me. She smiled, waved back and clearly relaxed - she never looked over at us again.

She was beautiful on stage. I was so proud of her watching her up there. She has blossomed so much to be in that place, on that stage. I got a big lump in my throat. She was so cute watching the teacher's assistant go through the steps - even though Kyra knew the routine - she always watches the teacher to make sure she is doing it right. She wasn't the only one watching the teacher though. All the girls were so cute and did a great job. The moves that were supposed to look graceful looked like little girls hopping up and down - they were rarely together - but it didn't matter. They were all just adorable.

I got a huge post- performance hug and kiss!

Daddy and I had a bouquet for her and so did Liam.

She liked being on-stage! She liked performing!

She liked getting flowers.

She liked going out for a special after recital lunch!

On the way home, she asked if she could take ballet again next year.

Two hours later, she asked if she could take gymnastics next year instead,

but not until fall because she wanted to take swimming lessons this summer.

My little timid girl is blossoming.

I hope and pray that she along the way, she gains confidence and finds her passion.

My forever daughter.

What a Difference A Year Makes!

2010-05-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

One year ago yesterday, this beautiful, wonderful little boy came into our lives and made his home in our hearts forever.

He came into our lives and hearts and eventually formed a wonderful relationship with his new sister - a better relationship than she or we would have ever imagined.
One year ago yesterday, this daddy held his son, a son I believe he had very much longed for, for the very first time.
One year ago yesterday, this mother fell more in love with her new son than she ever thought possible.

Many other little girls and one other little boy besides Liam, joined their new forever families.

This is a red couch photo for our very large travel group.
This past Sunday, we had a reunion with the folks in our travel group who live in the Boston area. What a difference a year makes! Many of the girls were malnourished and developmentally delayed and now look at all the healthy, happy chubby toddler girls in this group!

And look at this happy, healthy little boy!!!

Our son, Liam Cameron Shuli Brown!

Fairy Houses and First Picnic of Spring

2010-05-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

Kyra loves fairies and princesses and all that is magical. So when the magic of spring rolls around, it's time to start building fairy houses. Kyra and I built this one - our "pine fairy house."

Kyra took close up photos - just like LaLa taught her when they made their first fairy house together.

She was quite creative in coming up with cushioned stools - still curled up fern fronds tucked into acorn caps. What fairy wouldn't want to curl up in this cozy little house?
A few days later, we went on our first spring picnic at a local favorite spot where we can hike, play in streams, watch fish and newts in ponds, and check out beaver dams. It's Sophie's favorite spot - she can walk off-lead and wade in the ponds and streams.

Mommy started a fairy house, Kyra helped, but spent more time climbing trees,

hanging out on the bridge,

and playing in the stream.

We call this our "birch fairy house".

Liam made a fairy boat!

The water was cold, but it didn't stop either of them from sticking their toes in the water!

It was a magical day,

for making magical memories.

Almost 1 Year With Liam in Our Lives

2010-04-27T04:49:00.000-07:00

Daddy brought hats back from his trip to San Antonio, Texas. Meet Annie Oakley and Daniel Boone!

Annie is pickin' and a grinnin'!

Sophie thought Liam's hat looked like something to chase and eat!

Liam continues to make great strides in his development. We had him evaluated by the public pre-school program. Children who are below developmental expectations qualify for free services in the free public school pre-school program. Guess what! Liam did NOT qualify!

I find that so amazing and so wonderful! They did offer 1/2 hour per week of speech from now until the end of the school year due to his poor articulation. They had told me that I would not be able to go into the room with him because there would be another little boy in the class and they had to be concerned about confidentiality. I explained his separation anxiety issues and she said that if the other mother didn't mind, I could sit outside the door. On his first day of class, I anxiously waited for the other mother to show up with her son, wondering if she was going to mind if I sat outside the door. Who walks in but my friend from our adoption book club and her almost 3 year old son adopted from Korea! We had already had one playdate for the boys where they didn't really play together, but at least they knew each other! We were both ecstatic. So Liam and his friend go to class each week while his mom and I sit outside the door and chat. Liam always says he doesn't want to go, but when he gets in there he has a great time. The boys work really well together. Liam is very verbal in class and interacts with the teacher so well - always remembering to say thank you and usually remembering to say please. (I owe this special ability to his foster family - I wish I had done as well with Kyra!) At the end of class, Liam comes trotting out with a big smile, "I did it Mommy! I did it!" I just loooovvvveeee him.

Liam likes to do a lot of other things in his growing list of accomplishments. He climbs like a monkey at My Gym. 11 months ago he couldn't even stay sitting up while going down a slide.

He can balance on 1 foot!

This is his first face! (We're still working on circles....)

His imagination continues to expand. Here, he's Kyra's baby doggy.

He has developed a love for music, instruments and singing...

Just in case you couldn't tell, this was his very own Amazing Grace/Twinkle, Twinkle Litte Star Medley - apparently performed near a much needed nap time. And how about that voice!

Ya gotta love it!!!!

Easter 2010

2010-04-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

Easter 2009, Kyra colored eggs with the referral pictures for her new brother, Liam Cameron ShuLi Brown. That's all we had. Pictures and a name. We wanted the real thing!

Easter, 2010, Kyra colored eggs with the real thing!!! Kyra enjoyed having her brother here and Liam loved coloring eggs... and his hands... and the table... He could have dyed dozens of eggs!
On Saturday afternoon of Easter week-end, after dying eggs, we went to a neighborhood egg hunt. We took video, but forgot to take pictures. : ( Liam loved it though. He picked up his first egg and it rattled. He opened it and there was a Hershey kiss in it. Rather than run and find more eggs, he sat there, slowly peeled the wrapper off and ate it. By the time he had eaten the chocolate out of his first two eggs- there wasn't much left to find except plastic eggs that kids and already taken the candy out of and left the egg. Liam didn't care. He was happy to run around and pick up empty open eggs. Such a sweetheart.

Easter morning was fun for everybody! Kyra was thrilled with her Easter basket. She took her time taking out each item and enjoying each one.
Liam picked up his basket and immediately dumped it on the floor. Such a 3 year old. Such a boy!
His favorite surprise was a plastic egg that talks until you find it. "Here I am! Find me! etc..."

When you finally find it, you open it and there's a bunny inside that says, "You found me!"

Liam was fascinated with it!
After a healthy breakfast of chocolate eggs and dyed hard boiled eggs - we were off to church in our color coordinated clothes. I wanted Kyra and Liam to match, Kyra wanted me to match her and daddy just went along for the ride...with a roll of his eyes.
Sophie even had a pink bunny bandana!
Easter lunch was a brunch buffet complete with the Easter Bunny. After we ate, there was no one waiting to have their picture taken - Liam kept walking up and hugging the Easter Bunny's legs and laying his face in Easter Bunny's lap. Poor Easter Bunny! But Liam couldn't get enough of the big furry guy. It was too sweet for words and I could never, for some reason, capture it on camera.
So the color coordinated daddy and son...
and color coordinated mommy and daughter...
went home from brunch on this warm gorgeous Easter Day, changed into play clothes, and finally blew up Kyra's Christmas present - a GIANT ball that the kids could crawl inside of.

Daddy rolled them all over the yard.

It was a HAIR RAISING Easter!

We are truly blessed.

And finally, to truly appreciate our Easter, you must enjoy Liam's Chocolate Dance.

He truly is the real thing!

Loud Race Car

2010-03-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

I'm cleaning the kitchen and I just had to stop and post. Over in the corner of the family room, behind the chair where all the toys are ---there is the loudest sound. RUUUMM, RUMMM<>RRRRUUUUUUUM!!!! Over and over.

"Liam, that's a loud race car, is it fast?" And then two different voices from behind the chair (even though Liam is back there alone) 1st voice, "Are you a fast car??" 2nd voice is rougher,

"I a FAST car!!! RRRUUUUMMMM, RRRUUUUMM RRRRUUUUUMMM!"

No rustling of princess dresses, no tinkling of fairy wands, not what I expected I'd be listening to while Kyra's at school.

But the fact is --- I am SOOO in love with this little boy that I can hardly stand it!

Today we went to the grocery store. He pushed his little kid's cart around. He got the bananas (2 big bunches - I'd better start eating bananas!) and 2 boxes of cereal commenting, "Kyra like this one." He put them on the counter and then carried the bag of cereals to the car. " I strong boy. I STRONG boy" "This is heavy!" "Oh Liam, would you like me to carry it?" And in his gruffest voice a shake of his manliest face, "Nooo."

I JUSST LOOOOVVVEEEE him!!!!!!

Rated PG for Violence

2010-03-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

It was like a scene out of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

The tiger didn't have a chance.

Literally ripped apart with it's insides flying out everywhere.

It was a brutal scene.

And the predator? She looks so harmless.

Beware!

Liam's Cute Words

2010-03-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

We've been saying prayers before Liam goes to sleep. I usually say Dear God, Bless Daddy, Bless Mommy, Bless Kyra, Bless Liam, Bless Sophie, Amen. Then he tries to repeat me. The other night Liam repeated me and for the first time added his own: "....Bless Grandma June, Bless LaLa, Bless Elmo, Bless Grover, Amen."

The other day when we dropped Kyra off at school and drove away, Liam said, " I miss my Kyra. I miss my friend. " So sweet.

I try to remember all the cute things he says so I can type them here, but I never can. I should write them down right away. I'll try harder.

The Amazing Kyra

2010-03-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

On Dec. 12, I decided to blog about Kyra and her progress since Liam came home. And then life just kept coming faster and faster and I blogged on day to day happenings and the blog about Kyra just never got finished. Well, it's time to finish. So many updates on Liam - now it's Kyra's turn.

This is what I wrote on Dec. 12, 2009:

Kyra has come such a long way since we brought Liam home. Understandably, bringing a 2 1/2 year old boy into her Only Princess home life really rocked her world. Her moods began to change quickly from loving, kind big sister to raging, and I mean raging, child. The rages or tantrums or whatever you want to call them were different from anything I'd ever seen from her.

Even before Liam, we often felt like we were walking on eggshells around Kyra - not knowing what would send her into uncontrollable sobs and tears. Something as simple as Daddy opening the door while she was walking by and accidently hitting her could send her into sobs - not because she was hurt, but because she was somehow convinced he had done it on purpose. Anything Kyra perceived as rejection by friends or family would send her into a flood of tears.

It was so sad to watch and frustrating because she couldn't be reasoned with. It was just painful to see her in pain over what were obviously misperceptions. What brought on these misperceptions? Low self esteem? Early trauma in her life? All of the above? Surely all of the above are connected anyway. Questions were constantly spinning through my head. How to help? Therapy was making some impact, but not enough.

Then, enter Liam. There was, of course, jealousy involved as would be expected. But it was her reaction to Liam" rejecting" her that was so surprising to me. By rejection - I mean just simple things like Kyra might try to give Liam a toy and he didn't want it. This was perceived as rejection by Kyra. Any such perceived rejection from Liam sent Kyra spiraling out of control. Not just sobs, but angry, loud, completely out of control and unable to calm herself sobs. She began to be aggresive - hitting him, pushing him, hitting and pushing me - she just lost control of herself. Kyra has never been an aggressive child, so this was so out of character for her. I felt like the fact that she viewed him as

And that's where my writing stopped.

I don't know what I was going to write that Kyra viewed Liam as, but I do think that Kyra viewed and still views Liam as someone who takes our attention away from her. Someone she has to compete with for attention. I know every child with a new sibling feels this way, and many many of them tantrum often in the beginning. But for Kyra, I think this competition for attention was a trigger for deep seated trauma memories of competing for attention in the orphanage. I also believe the "rejection" issue is trauma related - the fact that in her subconscious (and/or conscious) mind - her birthmother had "rejected" her. I'd seen Kyra tantrum before Liam came, and it was nothing like what I saw after Liam came. She turned into some primeval animal - her fight or flight mode went into full fight and she became like a wild animal. It was shocking to watch. I was at a loss. I worked with her attachment therapist, but there was no reinforcement program, no punishment, no consequences, that could help Kyra maintain control. I always wound up getting angry with her and yelling at her because all I could see was a spoiled child. I couldn't see the trauma at work. I didn't know enough about post traumatic stress disorder yet. I could only get Liam out of the line of fire and when she began to grow tired - just wrap my arms around her and hold her until she calmed down. That was the only way she could calm down - she had no ability to do it herself. The tantrums were most often triggered by her perceived rejection from Liam - if he wouldn't take a toy she offered him - but also just sharing or attention issues.

Kyra had been diagnosed with insecure attachment stemming from post traumatic stress disorder about a year before Liam came. We spent a lot of time working with a therapist trying to help her heal and preparing her for Liam. I spent a lot of time reading, researching, trying everything I could find to help her be comfortable being Kyra and gain some independence away from me. I learned that traumatized children exhibit different levels of post traumatic stress syndrome much the way that war veterans all exhibit different levels of post traumatic stress syndrome following a war - even if they all experienced the exact same trauma. From what I can find - how a person is affected by trauma depends on their "resilience" - resilience seems to be part of their temperament, but that wasn't enough for me. I finally found a study done in Switzerland if I remember correctly that determined that the degree to which a war veteran suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is directly related to the level of cortisol in their brains before they went to war. These helped explain one reason why Kyra's symptoms seem to be worse than the other girls adopted from her orphanage at the same time. Temperament and cortisol levels.

I also wondered why all of Kyra's issues appeared around the age of 3. She seemed like the perfect baby until then. Having been diagnosed with sensory integration disorder (also known as sensory processing disorder) at 4 years of age - the occupational therapist said that most kids are diagnosed with sensory disorders at age 3 because thus far they've been focusing on language and large motor skill development. By 3, they suddenly can focus on sensory issues.

The attachment therapist said that because Kyra started pre-school at age 3 - being in that orphanage environment with a large number of kids to a small number of caretakers/teacher can trigger pre-verbal traumatic memories setting off the post traumatic stress disorder symptoms.

We stayed in occupational therapy for the sensory disorder and attachment therapy for post trauma disorder every week right up until we left for China. The occupational therapist put her on a hiatus for sensory therapy saying her sensory system had matured and she had reached our original goals, but they would be happy to reevaluate her after Liam's adoption. The attachment therapist felt like Kyra was in a good place and had made great strides, but that we should continue therapy weekly after Liam came home. When Liam came home, everything came crashing down. Kyra spiraled out of control and as I wrote before - nothing was helping.

Finally the therapist suggested Targeted Amino Acid Therapy (TAAT) and put me in touch with another adoptive mother working with a local naturopathic doctor and licensed dietician to put her daughter on TAAT. Kyra's urine and saliva test showed that her neurotransmitters and cortisol levels were elevated off the charts. The doctor said this was very common for children with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). After seeing Kyra's brain on paper - I wondered how she could function normally at all.

Kyra started the all natural amino acid supplements and within a month, her behavior had changed unbelievably. I was astounded. The rages disappeared. They simply went away. There was no more walking on eggshells. She was no longer in a constant state of fight or flight as her elevated neurotransmitter and cortisol levels had put her in. I wondered if it was just my imagination that she seemed so much more stable, more calm, but we went home for Christmas and even family commented on how she had changed. Now, if she perceives rejection from anyone, including Liam, she just shrugs it off. Of course, there are the normal sibling issues, but they're normal!!!!

Her neurotransmitter levels and histamines were still elevated after supplements, so we did a food sensitivity test. With a partial change in diet, eliminating the foods she was most sensitive to, her periods of hyperactivity reduced greatly. We are now trying to eliminate foods she is moderately sensitive to in an effort to lower her histamines and other neurotransmitter levels.

Since Kyra started the supplements, she has literally blossomed. The outer hard rough layers have peeled away to reveal the beautiful flower that I've always known was there - but didn't always get to see. I'll call her a rose, because beneath that beautiful flower are still a lot of sharp thorns - discipline issues (I blame Craig and I for those), her strong-will, her low self-esteem, and still a lot of anxiety.

Watching her bloom has been the most wonderfully sweet experience. She is (usually) an amazing big sister - playing with Liam and patiently teaching him things. She uses this sweet big sister voice that Craig and I love to listen to - we'd love to capture it on video sometime. They play together- imaginative play with everything and anything from trains to fairies. She's quite the engineer building complex tracks for him with geo-trax or Thomas the Train wooden tracks. They race around the house playing chase and of course, Sophie joins in. They play outside together - mommy and baby in the playhouse or treehouse or riding trikes and scooters. Kyra's good about watching him and Sophie is always by their side, so on cold days I can just watch out the window. They're often happy to just play separately in the same room - each doing a different activity, but keeping each other company. Liam isn't really into crafts yet, but Kyra's creativity has continued to grow with adorable creations out of bits and pieces she's collected around the house. Liam has taught Kyra by example how to play by herself instead of always with me. Liam loves her dearly calling her "My Kyra". She loves Liam and, even though she sometimes says she wishes he was a sister or wasn't here at all, I know in my heart that he is the perfect sibling for her.

In December, a month after starting supplements, she asked to start ballet again. She had previously tried and then dropped all types of lessons. Whether it was sensory or attachment issues - I never determined - but all lessons were somewhat stressful for her. I found a ballet class that consisted mostly of close friends of hers. She is enjoying ballet and decided she wanted to be in the recital in April. I hope and pray she finds the self-confidence to go up on that stage and dance with her friends - it would be such a good experience for her.

She also asked to take piano lessons. She wants to be a concert material pianist right away without practicing. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...I'm the same way.) But she loves to play the piano and plays Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star over and over.

Kyra recently asked to take ice skating lessons. Her first lesson was Saturday and she was amazing! She knew no one else in the class, so I really expected it to be hard for her to get out on the ice. She went right out on the ice with only a couple backward glances. She was in very close proximity to kids who were total strangers and it didn't even phase her. And she caught onto it quickly! She was the only one in her group who didn't fall! After all the lessons she has taken - ballet, gymnastics, swimming, piano - this is the first time that she came out and said, "This was the best lesson ever!"

I should have known she would love it. She loves ice! She loves to feel it, lick it, eat it! When we were in Turks & Caicos where everyone was so happy to be warm - Kyra couldn't keep her hands off the ice carving at the beach party!

Kyra even stayed at her first drop-off birthday party! It was a mother/friend/house that we've visited many times for play dates and that helped, but by the time I came back to pick her up - she didn't want to leave.

Skeptical friends have asked if maybe the change in behavior was due to maturation or just getting used to Liam being here. It was a very abrupt change, so I have my doubts. I'm more inclined to believe it was the amino acid supplements. Whatever it was - - it's been wonderful, even magical, a miracle, a blessing. I'm so happy to have my flower, rose that she is, in full bloom.

Beach Vacation Post - Delayed....

2010-03-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

In an effort to find a user friendly blog site - I joined Mac's Iweb so that all of my pictures, blog, iphoto, etc. would all be connected and easier to work with. Being anxious to get the vacation blog done - but not wanting to deal with uploading photos to blogspot - I tried to do my first blog entry on iweb, knowing full well that my Mac guru neighbor left today for a 10 day vacation in Costa Rica. I watched the tutorials and everything! Whoa is me. I was half finished my first attempt when I lost everything I had typed. I have no clue what I did. But I was excited that it was so much easier than blog spot. So, I deleted that post and started over, saving my work frequently. I finished and was very happy with it, clicked "publish", and then went to the site to see my work. A major bummer. The pictures had, for some inexplicable reason, moved ON TOP of what I had typed. I checked help - there was no help.

And so - you'll have to wait to hear about our trip for at least 10 days until I can get help because I'm sure not going to do it over again after doing it twice already. Meanwhile, I'll continue to do other posts here.

And I thought computers were supposed to make life easier....

Catching Up

2010-03-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

This post is just on catching up. I never have time to blog during the day, so by the time the kids are in bed - I'm feeling like Liam ----

----not like blogging.

Tonight, I ate some chocolate to give me that little bit of energy to do some catching up.

Of course, I'll never have the energy that Kyra has no matter how much chocolate I eat. Kyra lived on MY roller blades from sun up 'til sun down for weeks. She put them on when she got out of bed and only took them off to go to school, to bathe, and to bed. She was doing really well skating on blades until she fell and put a hole in the wall in the foyer. All I heard was a loud thump and "Mommy, you're going to be really mad." " Needless to say- the blades have been put away until spring and Kyra starts ice skating lessons next Saturday.

The highlight of January for Kyra was going to see Disney's Princesses on Ice with Mommy. Dressed in her lovely Belle gown and pink fur coat - we had second row seats where she dined on a rainbow colored sno-cone served in a Cinderella cup and watched an amazing show on ice. It was a wonderful time for both of us!

February brought us Chinese New Year. It was low key this year, especially since the first day of the New Year fell on Valentine's Day. We dressed in our traditional Chinese clothes and went to our favorite Chinese restaurant where the owner and staff adore Kyra and Liam.

A lot of the last couple months has just been spent playing inside. Lots of trains, trucks, cars, chasing, hide and seek, blocks, marble runs, art projects and a few games of hopscotch.

Kyra teaches Liam...

Now Liam is a Pro...

We finished out February with a wonderful vacation, but that's for another post - another night - more chocolate.

Sleep

2010-02-12T06:38:00.001-08:00

What to do, what to do. Sleep is an issue for so many adopted children. I don't know why. Some children have trouble falling asleep, some have trouble staying asleep through the night. But why? Maybe because they were left in a safe place to be found most likely at night when their parents, who loved them, but couldn't keep them, wouldn't be seen and prosecuted. Maybe because their subconscious memories of their loss, of their past, comes alive in their sleep in the form of nightmares or sad dreams. Maybe the fear of being left alone while they sleepily drift to the place where these memories come alive. We'll probably never know.

About 3 weeks ago, Liam started willingly sleeping in his room. He started in his Lightening McQueen toddler bed and then started choosing to sleep in his big boy bed. Things started off well. I would lay with him until he fell asleep. He's a sound sleeper, so sneaking off after he starts snoring is easy. At first, he was sleeping beautifully through the night. But then he started waking up 1, 2,3,4 times a night. I would go comfort him and then return to my bed, where, if I took a Simply Sleep I could probably fall back asleep, but if I didn't, I'm up for hours (like last night for instance when I tried just taking half of a Simply Sleep). Unfortunately, this was beginning to exhaust me, so - just as I started doing with Kyra when she was 3 years old- last night after the first time he cried, I brought him into bed with me where he sleeps soundly through the night.Why is he suddenly waking up several times a night after doing so well the first week? I wonder if it's because I started leaving him with a sitter or his dad a couple times a week to go to physical therapy for my back (another reason why one should not be toting around a 3 year old at my age). Whatever the reason, Kyra's sleep pattern is repeating itself in Liam.

My bed is crowded once again. Kyra comes in between 11:30 and 2:00 and crawls in my bed.

Liam cries or yells for mommy, and I bring him into my bed. Sophie is curled up at the foot of the bed. Yes, it's crowded, and I yearn for an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. I wonder if when I'm 70, and my nest is completely empty, if I will wish once more for Kyra's warm feet that must find some part of me to touch every night or the feel of Liam's little body curled up against me. Probably. But for now, as I get through every day on REM sleep deprivation, I'm seriously thinking that a night at the local Hampton Inn is in order.

A Snowy Day

2010-01-23T17:57:00.001-08:00

Does this look like the face of a little boy who likes to paint?

It was Martin Luther King Day and Kyra had the day off from school. It had snowed all night and continued to snow until mid day.

I hadn't had the easel out for a very long time, so I thought it might be something Liam would like. Kyra had always, always loved to paint. But could I handle easel painting with two of them???

It worked out pretty well. Liam didn't have the attention span for painting that Kyra did, and I must say he was more reserved than Kyra.

My little artist was in her glory - mixing paints to make different colors. And she only left one big orange stain of paint on the carpet - even with the tarp!

After it stopped snowing, the sun came out and it was time to hit the "slope".

The pile of snow at the end of our driveway is now 5-6 feet tall!

This is one of my all time favorite photos of my beautiful Sophie!

Can you say Snowfro?

The day before, daddy and Kyra made a gigantic snowperson. Craig added dead bushes to the top to make a gigantic afro. After an all night/all morning snow - it became a snowfro!

Kyra loves snow as much as she loves sand. She asked me to bury her in snow! Brrrrrrr!

It was a fun snowy day. Even if Liam couldn't keep his hat up. : )

Liam's 3rd Birthday

2010-01-20T18:36:00.000-08:00

On January 19th, Liam turned 3 years old. His first birthday he would celebrate with his forever family. He had already been to Kyra's birthday party and some of Kyra's friends' birthday parties, so he had a pretty good idea what a birthday was about --- getting presents! And if Liam didn't know about getting presents on his own - Kyra made sure he knew. "Liam, you get presents on your birthday!"

As soon as I mentioned having a small party for Liam, Kyra was all over it!

Kyra: "Liam, what kind of party do you want? A Lightening McQueen party?"

Liam: "YEAH!!!"

And that was settled.

Liam was introduced to Lightening McQueen and all of the characters of the Disney "Cars" movie shortly after his arrival in America. He was an immediate addict! He noticed everything that was remotely related to Lightening McQueen no matter where we went. If I needed to go somewhere and Daddy couldn't get Liam to stop crying - he would just stick the "Lightening McQueen" movie in. All big trucks became Mack trucks. All mini-coopers became Doc Hudson. (Even though Doc Hudson was not a mini-cooper.) And all sporty cars became Lightening McQueen. A Lightening McQueen party it would be!

When I asked Liam who he wanted to invite to his party, he immediately answered "Ella and Avery." Avery is a friend of Kyra's and Ella is her 3 1/2 year old sister. We have a lot of playdates with them, but Liam and Ella don't really play together. Avery, Kyra and Ella flit around like fairies with their magic wands while Liam is be banging his magic wand on the table. It's a boy thing. Liam does play with our neighbor Skylar, age 3 1/2, so I invited her, too. I also invited a 2 1/2 year old boy that Liam has only had one playdate with, but he couldn't come. It didn't matter - Liam quite enjoyed his little harem. He knew what he was doing!

Ella, Liam and Skylar

The three partiers plus Kyra and Daddy had a good time playing with the birthday presents.

They also did a lot of free play with all the toys I set out - a 50/50 split between "girl" toys and "boy" toys - they all seemed to enjoy both "kinds" of toys!

They had fun playing Elefun - a perfect little game for 3 year olds.

Time for lunch - little sandwiches, carrots, and clementines. I tried to make it healthy, but the kids were holding out for cake and ice cream!

Liam enjoyed his chocolate cupcake and ice cream! He blew out his candle the second Daddy lit it - then we sang Happy Birthday.

I do believe this cool little dude enjoyed his birthday party!

Liam's family party was planned for his real birthday. On Sunday he woke up sniffling. By Tuesday, he had a full blown cold, cough AND went to the doctor ON HIS BIRTHDAY for a little sore on his lip. He was diagnosed with impetigo. And while he was there, they decided to go ahead and give him his H1N1 booster shot! Poor guy - what a birthday. He mostly laid on mommy for the rest of the afternoon, barely ate dinner, but guess what! When Kyra mentioned "Presents!", he managed to rally. What a trooper!
I had let him pick out an ice cream cake at the grocery store and he opted for a basketball cake. When we got home, he didn't want to put it in the freezer - he wanted to carry it around. OK fine, I thought. He'll get bored with it in a few minutes, so I went to get another bag of groceries from the car. When I returned, the cake was (fortunately still in the box) up-side-down on the living room floor, and he was off to play with something else. It didn't look much like a basketball anymore.

He enjoyed it anyway!

So, my big handsome boy is 3 years old. He will tell you when asked, "I pee!" (I three!) and hold up 1 finger.

The next morning, after Liam's birthday, when I told Liam "Mommy is too hot!", Liam replied, "No, mommy three hot!" I guess all twos must now become threes.

Almost 3!

2010-01-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

As we come up on Liam's 3rd birthday on January 19th, I marvel at the progress he has made.

He still seems so much like a baby in so many ways - he still asks for his bottle, still likes to be bundled up and carried like a baby after his bath -- all of the things he missed as a baby, he, rightfully, asks for now. And he gets them.

But the progress he has made is amazing. He is starting to get interested in the potty again - especially since LaLa started rewarding his efforts with M&M's over Christmas and I've continued here. One day he asks to go on the potty for pee and poo and will keep a dry diaper all day - and the next day he will have nothing to do with the potty. It's a control issue at this point and because I suspect that his potty training wasn't a pleasant experience and he has had so little control over his life thus far - he can have all the time he needs to train himself.

His articulation may be poor, but his language has grown with leaps and bounds! It's so interesting to watch a 2 1/2 - 3 year old mind learn a new language. He's getting some verbs now although they may sometimes be a little mixed up:

"My car walking snow again." (My car is driving through the snow again.)

He is having a hard time with "my" and "your".

Mommy: "Liam, you're going to start sleeping in your Lightening McQueen bed when your 3!" Liam: "No, I sleep in MY bed.

Mommy: "You mean mommy's bed?"

Liam: "Yes, MY bed!"

Now, you might think that he thinks MY bed is HIS bed - but this "MY" instead of "YOUR" repeats itself in other situations. He's never actually said the word YOUR - hmmm.... maybe he does think everything is his!

One of my favorite Liam language stories happened when he was brushing his teeth one night. He had only been brushing one side of his mouth for quite awhile, so I said, "Liam, brush the other side, too." So he put the toothbrush on the outside of his cheek and started to brush.

"No, mommy, I brush INside!!"

Today, Liam started putting himself in a time out! He swung a rubber tube and hit Kyra in the face. Not hard, she wasn't hurt at all, but he knew it was a no,no. He went running (in his hilarious little baby run) toward the time out chair, yelling, "I sawwy Dywa! I sawwy Dywa!"

(I'm sorry Kyra) and climbed up on the time out chair. He sat himself down, looked at me and said, "I in time out!"

He is very much mommy's boy, but still outgoing, friendly, polite, and independent. He likes to do things himself. "No(a word I hear more than I care to lately) mommy, I do it!"

And when he's successful -- a beautiful big smile and a shout, "I Did It!!!" He is amazing at saying "Dank ew" - I almost never have to remind him and very good at saying "Peez".

His boisterous "Hewwo!"s have been replaced by a wave and maybe a quiet "Hello". I'm afraid he has learned this from his sister, Kyra. He's still an appropriately friendly little guy and if you're one of his favorite people - he'll run right over and hug your leg.

Liam loves his sister immensely. He tries to do everything she does -- which, in many cases, is not really a good thing -- but it's so sweet that he looks up to her that much. She loves him, too--- she loves to mother him, teach him things, and she is mostly a very sweet, kind big sister to him. When she talks to him in her sweet big sister voice and he responds in his sweet little brother voice - I just want to squeeze them both! Of course- those aren't always the voices they use with each other. There still remains t some serious sibling rivalry in this house. (I've ordered the book Siblings Without Rivalry, but haven't had a chance to start it yet. ) I think

we're at least to the point where the rivalry is fairly normal. We had a rough start, but we've come a long way.

This week-end, Liam will have a small Lightening McQueen birthday party. He wants to invite 2 girls to the party - Ella and Avery. Ella is 3 and is the little sister of Avery who is Kyra's friend. We have playdates with them a lot, but he never really plays with Ella, so I'm surprised at his choice of guests. I also invited our 3 year old neighbor, Skylar, who he plays nicely with quite often. Liam keeps saying "No Skylar. Ella and Avery hmmm Liam's Party!" Very puzzling - I hope he's polite to Skylar when she comes! He wants chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing. Another chocolate lover in the house!

On Tuesday, we'll celebrate with just the 4 of us. It will be a bittersweet day as it always is on my children's birthday. I think of their birthparents and I know that their birthparents are thinking of them. I wish I could somehow let their birthparents know that Liam and Kyra are happy, healthy and safe.

My favorite thing that Liam has learned? " I wuv you, mommy" followed by a hug and then his little hands on the sides of my head for a loooonnnngggg Liam kiss. He's just too cute for words.

Liam's First Christmas

2010-01-05T17:52:00.001-08:00

Christmas Eve found our family having a wonderful dinner at a local village inn. Kyra was thrilled to be in such a fancy restaurant in her Christmas dress. Liam, as always, was just happy to be with mommy. Mommy and Daddy were happy to have a grown up dinner, but we did worry about a long dinner in a fancy restaurant on Christmas Eve with 2 excited little ones.We needn't have worried. The kids were amazing! When we got ready to leave, the older gentleman sitting next to us with his wife said, "Congratulations. Your children are so well behaved. " That was a very happy Christmas present for mommy!!!

After appetizer, salad and entree, we went to the "grand hall" of the inn where they had a dessert buffet. Kyra walked in with a big "Wow!" at the sight of the buffet.
Liam mostly just wanted chocolate milk and really enjoyed his straw!
Once Kyra discovered the 4 tier chocolate fountain - she was in heaven. You would have thought she walked into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Candy Factory. Other guest got so tickled at how happy she was with the whole dessert experience. Like mother like daughter.

It was a lovely Christmas Eve dinner followed by a tour of area Christmas lights and finally leaving cookies, milk and carrots for Santa and his reindeer.

Liam understood that Santa was going to bring him "Lightening McQueen", but that was about it. He didn't really understand the leaving cookies part or that Santa was going to come during the night and leave his presents. The whole idea became a little more clear on Christmas morning.

Still,Liam couldn't understand that Santa brought him several gifts. Liam took ALL day to open his gifts because he wanted to open each one and play with it for quite a long time. He was so cute to watch.

Kyra opened her gifts in record time and was thrilled with everything. Mommy and Kyra spent a good part of the day doing crafts and playing games.
Santa didn't forget Sophie. Sophie got a few stuffed animals (only 2 have survived so far...) and lots of yummy snacks.

We had a wonderfully relaxing day. We stayed in our pajamas, played with toys and daddy went out to bring home Chinese food. I decided when we had our first Christmas at home with Kyra that I would not spend the day cooking a big meal. I wanted to spend the day enjoying my children and that's what I did.

It was a sweet, sweet Christmas day --- in more ways than one.

The day after Christmas we flew to WV to visit family. Well, the kids and I flew and daddy drove the gifts and Sophie the dog. There were 3 more Christmases at home!
We learned that Kyra is quite a tinker toy engineer. I love it that they make them in girly colors now!

We had Christmas with Craig's family.

Christmas with my dad's family.
And Christmas with my mom's family.

We cooked with LaLa.
And built an Up the River snowman following an Up the River jeep ride.
I think Liam has figured this Santa Claus thing out at this point and I think he likes it a lot!

2009-12-15T11:23:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Christmas Prep

2009-12-13T19:18:00.001-08:00

Christmas preparations continue at the Brown house. Kyra and I made our 2nd gingerbread house together - I guess that makes it a tradition.

Kyra loves to decorate and eat the yummies.

Liam just loves to eat the yummies.

We took the kids to the mall for Liam's first visit to Santa. Going to the mall two week-ends before Christmas is just sheer insanity, but my salvation was a small group of carolers who walked around the mall and sang. They even sang while they took a ride on the merry-go-round.

Of course, the highlight was seeing Liam meet Santa.

He was definitely a little apprehensive about Santa, but got more comfortable as he sat there.

Of course, Kyra and mommy never left his side and he was happy to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas.

"Santa hmm Liam Lightening McQueen"

How could Santa possibly resist?

Liam's First Snow and First Christmas Tree

2009-12-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

Today was Liam's first real snow. At first he wasn't real sure what to think of it. He liked his slow ride when Kyra pulled him.

When Daddy pulled them both really fast - he had a big smile, but didn't want to do it again.

Of course, Kyra is our Eskimo. She likes to lay in snow...

...put her face in snow and eat snow!

Liam was fairly uninterested in the snow, until... he found out that you could throw snowballs at people and they would act like he'd hurt them! Then he was loving it!

Our neighbors and their kids came over to sled ride. We ended our first snow with an impromptu fire pit complete with roasting hot dogs, making s'mores and drinking hot chocolate. What fun!

Our snowy day was complete after decorating the tree. Kyra was my chief elf!

Elf Liam was pretty uninterested in decorating the tree, but thought that dumping the Christmas balls and throwing the icicles up in the air was pretty fun.

Liam's sled ride. All things go back to Lightening McQueen. Liam is recalling a picture from the Lightening McQueen Christmas book where Mater is pulling a sled with Guido on it. He's Guido and Kyra is Mater. What a funny guy.

No one loves the snow like Sophie! With the snow, her whole family outside, and the neighbors and their kids over -- Sophie had the best time ever!

It was a really great snow day.

Our Mother Daughter Christmas Tradition

2009-12-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

This year was our second year to go to The Nutcracker at The Palace Theatre - just mommy and Kyra. This year we went with 3 of Kyra's little girlfriends: Shailin, Annette and Avery. All of the girls and mommies thoroughly enjoyed the performance.

Kyra loves to go up before the show and look at the musicians in the orchestra pit.

Liam was very sad he couldn't go. I'm sure he and daddy will find some traditions of their own soon enough!

Mommy and Kyra are hoping this is a tradition we will enjoy together for a long time.

Happy Forever Family Day

2009-12-05T16:19:00.000-08:00

On November 21,2004, a nanny in China placed a baby girl in my arms. My baby girl. Our baby girl. She was dressed in a beautiful yellow traditional Chinese outfit and clenched a biscuit in her little fist. As she was placed into my arms, the arms of a blond round eyed stranger with tears of joy streaming down her face, the little baby began to cry. What was happening? Why had she been taken from everything she'd ever known to travel 2 hours in a bus with her beloved nanny only to be handed to this stranger? My poor little confused baby. Within a few minutes, there were no more tears. Only a quizzical look on her beautiful little face. Within an hour of being in the hotel, this amazing little baby was smiling and then laughing - so very eager to check out every corner and crevice of her new surroundings.

Fast forward 5 years. Now this beautiful little baby is a beautiful, wonderful little girl. Now she is surrounded by family who loves and cherishes her. On this day every year - we celebrate the day when Luo Ya Xin joined our family forever.

Uncles, aunts and cousins who love her.

Grandmothers and Grandfathers who love her.

A mother who loves her sense of humor, her kind heart, her laugh, her energy, her happy soul,

her hugging arms and kissing lips, her innate ability to "mother" younger children including her brother, her creativity, her sweet voice in song, her imagination, her curiosity, her zest for life, her love of water and snow, her love of cold, her love of all things magical and glittery, her love of bugs, her flair with color, her cravings for good chocolate, her sensitivity, her urges, that she readily fulfills, to be messy- to be covered with sand or mud or chalk or paint or makeup or flour, her need to climb, swing, spin and move, her enchanting smile

that spreads all the way to her eyes....

A mother who loves her with all of my heart... a never-ending unconditional love.

A father who loves her with all of his heart... a never-ending unconditional love.

A brother who has come to love her in 6 short months, so that we frequently hear, "My Kyra, My Kyra" and he wants to do everything just like his big sister.

On November 21 of every year we celebrate

Our Forever Family.

6 months Update

2009-11-30T13:21:00.000-08:00

As of Nov. 25th, Liam has been with us for 6 months. It is amazing to me how quickly this time has flown, but it is most amazing to me that Liam simply seems like he has been a part of our family since forever.

Liam's growth and development has been nothing less than ultra amazing. Language continues to develop in leaps and bounds. He still uses "hmmm" for almost all verbs, but is starting to use a few verbs here and there. His sentences have become longer and more detailed.

Liam still refuses to wear shoes, but it has become even worse. He has gone from refusing to just melting down. We definitely need a remeasure - I keep saying that - it's just a matter of getting to the shoe store! So I carry him in and out of places and he walks around everywhere in his socks. Outside, he has started to wear his fireman rainboots. That's a good sign since we're not far from snow here and it's getting pretty chilly out there!

Liam's love for Sophie has continued, but he has become a bit aggressive with her periodically. This is grounds for a time out followed by Liam apologizing to Sophie. Sophie continues to be the perfect dog - tolerating Liam's behavior by simply walking away and, of course, loving Liam with licks and tail wags whether Liam wants them or not.

Liam continues to have a wonderful imagination keeping us in stitches as he assumes different roles throughout the day and acts out little scenes. One that seems to often play out is he is first the fierce lion roaring, then he's a scared baby kitty who comes running to mommy kitty for safety. I love this one as I'm hoping it's symbolic of his feeling of safety with me.

Liam has developed an "addiction" to all things from the movie "Cars" and to the movie itself. He also likes to act out scenes from the movie which usually has all of us in stitches. For anyone familiar with the movie, my favorite scene he acts out is the tractor tipping scene which I have yet to get on my video (although I think Craig may have captured it on his). He appoints someone to be Mater or Lightening and he's a tractor. You either honk or rev your engine depending on who you are and then he leans over backwards making the same sound that the tractors make in the movie when they tip. The first time he did it, I simply cracked up. He is such a little ham!

On the day before Thanksgiving, Liam got his first haircut. He was perfectly behaved -sitting in the chair like a little man.

Until the end, when his true personality came out! What a handsome, funny little man he is!

A Thankful Thanksgiving!

2009-11-29T18:51:00.000-08:00

We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Most of all, we're thankful for our two healthy happy pilgrims.

Liam's First Thanksgiving!

Our Kindergarten Pilgrim!

We're thankful for LaLa and her delicious food!

(but she's not allowed to cook next year - she always overworks herself.)

We're thankful that Uncle Travis learned how to make mashed potatoes!

They were delish Uncle Travis!!!

You're elected to cook the whole meal next year ; ) !

We're thankful that Uncle Andrew gave us a great big Thanksgiving surprise - himself!

He showed up on Thanksgiving Day when I didn't think he was coming.

Without Uncle Andrew - it would have been "the worst Thanksgiving ever!"

It was a very Happy Thanksgiving!

One of my favorite parts of the Thanksgiving holiday was when LaLa let the kids make edible play dough.

Hope your Thanksgiving was as happy as ours!

Think Pink????

2009-11-12T17:38:00.000-08:00

OK, the pink thing is getting out of hand. Today, while Kyra was at school, I dropped in to the Gymboree store (my favorite store for kid's clothes) to return something and they were having a huge sale. I held up several shirts for Liam to look at - one with an airplane, one with a penguin, etc... - and he said, "No!" to every shirt. Not really a surprise since he doesn't like to wear clothes, so I picked out what I liked and went to the counter to pay. Liam decided to look around on his own a bit and then came to the counter holding up a hanger sporting a pink shirt with a pink furry hooded vest and proudly announced, "For Liam!". Argh.

Partners In Crime

2009-11-11T19:01:00.000-08:00

Kyra and Liam are quite a pair. She has the ideas - he goes along with the plan. Liam's pink polished toe nails were OK (well, Craig wasn't thrilled about them), but the pink hair spray that Kyra dug out of my office???? (It was purchased for Kyra's birthday party but after I figured out it came off her hair onto everything - I ditched that idea and stashed it in my office) I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...partners in crime.

I made her clean up her mess.

Then I cleaned up the bathroom...

What Are Little Boys' Nightmares Made Of?

2009-11-07T18:27:00.001-08:00

Liam hasn't cried in his sleep for quite awhile now. But a few nights ago he started crying in the middle of the night. I tried to comfort him telling him "Mama's here" and silently fretted over what might have triggered the return of his nightmares - what had made the trauma of his little life appear in the night again. Then suddenly, Liam sobbed, "Turtle...bite...Liam." I smiled. He likes to pretend that our stuffed animals have bitten his finger so I'll kiss it.I told him the turtle was all gone and kissed his finger. He slipped back into his steady snores. This is what little boys' nightmares should be made of.

5 Month Update

2009-11-02T18:26:00.000-08:00

As of Oct. 25, Liam has been with us for 5 months. What strides he has made in such a short time!

He's obviously much bigger all over. He has the same clothing problem Kyra had. A pudgy little Buddha belly, but overall, pretty short. His 2T's fit perfectly in the length, but only his more expensive pants will still snap comfortably. He's headed into a 3T, but everything is ridiculously long. We'll be rolling up a lot of pants!

His hair has grown - he's already had 2 unprofessional trims over his ears and it's getting long in the back now.

The most remarkable progress has been his language. He has gone from a single noun to putting strings of nouns together. And now he has added something new to that. He knows a word needs to go where the verb goes, but doesn't know what it is, so he just says "hmmmmm". For instance, Daddy hmmmm work car. (Daddy goes to work in his car.) Kyra hmmm school. (Kyra went to school or Kyra is at school.) It's really interesting to watch how he has developed this "substitute verb". His enunciation is improving as well.

The most amazing thing about Liam is his imagination. It's actually beginning to worry me because Liam is rarely Liam. He's usually daddy, often a baby kitty and sometimes Lightening McQueen. If he's daddy, then Kyra is mommy, I'm Kyra and Craig is Liam. If he's a baby kitty, I'm mommy kitty or his owner, if he's Lightening McQueen, he tells me if I'm Tow Mater or a Race Car. Sometimes I'm Handy Manny and he's a tool or sometimes vice versa. He's always driving the "game". Today, I was daddy and he was actually Liam. It's very cute to watch him try to play his imaginative game with Kyra. He'll be Daddy and keeping calling her "Kim, Kim, Kim,Kim" , when she finally says "what" - he tries to come up with something to say - it's usually "Daddy hmmm work car". He's just precious to watch in his pretend world.

Liam is sleeping through the night so much better. He rarely wakes up and if he does he cries briefly. He's more likely to wake up at 5 am and ask for his bottle. I'll give him his bottle in bed, and he rolls over and goes back to sleep. (Exactly what would make the dentist cringe..)

He loves his sister dearly and she loves him dearly. They continue to compete for my attention, my lap, for me. They struggle with sharing and Kyra still hits and pushes him when she's angry regardless of what consequences or reward system is in place. For the first time though, Liam gave her a dose of her own medicine. She usually refuses to let him in her room, shuts the door in his face and yells, "My room!" I've always said this is her space and he needs to respect that. This morning, as Kyra came toward Liam's room, Liam yelled, "My room!" and shut the door in her face. Kyra suddenly decided he could come in her room from now on. Regardless of what has transpired between them, at the end of the day, there is always a hug and kiss - "Good night ,Liam" "Good night, "Dyra"

We are so blessed.

Happy Birthday + Lost and Found Sheep

2009-11-01T16:57:00.000-08:00

Kyra celebrated her birthday Friday starting with opening presents as soon as we were out of bed.

For dinner, she chose to go to an Italian restaurant - not that the pasta with butter and cheese is better than any other restaurant, but because she likes their bread! She was quite thrilled to have the wait staff sing Happy Birthday in Italian though!

Happy Birthday to my 6 year old!

On Thursday, 2 days before Halloween, I started running into Little Bo Peep's sheep that she lost...

at the grocery store....

on Friday, at lunch...

and at Target!

He refused to wear anything except his sheep costume for 3 days.

We finally found Little Bo Peep at her school Halloween parade!

They met up in the front pasture.

Little Sheep and his Sheep Dog

Happily at Play!

Little Bo Peep and her sheep took a birthday trip to Toys R Us so Kyra could wear a crown and get a balloon and spend her birthday money. Ending with a ride on the hot dog truck.

Little Bo Peep and her sheep's costumes made it to Halloween - a bit dirty, but wearable.

No - I haven't aged quickly - Craig did!

Liam took to Trick or Treat like a sheep to pasture! He walked up to the door and when they opened it, he kept walking right in to their house! When I'd tell Liam to say thank you...

he'd baa.

It was a Very Happy Halloween!

2009-11-01T07:30:00.001-08:00

adopt your own virtual pet!

Kyra's Birthday Party

2009-10-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, I asked Kyra where she would like to have her birthday party, hoping to hear a place like My Gym or Bounce-U. Easy parties - they do all the work. But no, Kyra wanted her party at home. And she wanted a unicorn party. Now for most moms, this would be a rather simple task. Some balloons, maybe some streamers, a couple games, a birthday cake and voila - a birthday party. But not so for this mom. As soon as Craig heard we were doing another party at home - he just started shaking his head. I LOVE to do theme parties!!! I searched the internet for some ideas and found a great idea involving a magic unicorn and a witch. I added costumed girls transformed into unicorns, an enchanted forest, a woodland fairy and voila - the party was ready to roll!

Unfortunately, I failed to hire a photographer and am missing a lot of pictures I would have liked to have, but no one's perfect.

We do have most of the party on video (too long to upload here) and it's a joy to watch Kyra and the girls having so much fun.

The girls were invited to wear their favorite fairy, princess or party dress. When they entered the house, they were greeted by the Woodland Fairy (me) as they walked into "the enchanted forest." Kyra's favorite feature was the waterfall.

Vines (streamers and balloon ribbons) hung from the treetop (green balloons) covered ceiling. The floor had a covering of green balloons ( but not enough - mommy didn't buy enough balloons. The girls loved them nevertheless.)
A tree with glittery leaves (all painted by Kyra) grew up through the top of the forest. Beneath it was a flower covered seat where the sparkle covered woodland fairy would sit to tell the story of the magic unicorn. Kyra made many of the beautiful tissue paper flowers on the waterfall, seat, and floor.

Yes, this is the sparkly woodland fairy.

The girls decorated their unicorn horns and played with the fairies, princesses, unicorns, ponies and castle. Notice Liam modeling his unicorn horn.

The girls came into the enchanted forest and listened to the story of what happened to the magic unicorn as told by the woodland fairy. The woodland fairy told them that Fairy Kyra lived in the enchanted forest and invited all of her fairy and princess friends to come help her save her friend the magic unicorn. There was a silly, clumsy witch that also lived in the forest and she wanted to be brave, and strong, and graceful like the magic unicorn so she stole all of the things from the unicorn that made her magical and hid them in the enchanted forest and the surrounding lands. In order to search for the magical things, the girls must first be transformed into unicorns by performing tasks. They had already decorated their horns, now they must play two games: Pin the Horn on the Unicorn to earn their unicorn tails and Unicorn Horseshoes to earn their glittery mane (glitter hairspray in their hair) and their Mark of the Magic Unicorn ( a glittery unicorn tatoo). Emily, below, eventually did make it to the unicorn poster to put the horn on...

Next it was time for cake, ice cream and unicorn horns. (Bugles... remember those?)

Kyra loved the cake!

Back in the enchanted forest, Kyra's dragon, Bluey Blue, sat in the golden nest that Kyra made for him guarding the Magic Unicorn (now that she was no longer magical) and his blue glittery egg.

The poor Magic Unicorn without all of her Magical things. (Drawn by our dear friend, Mia)

After cake, the girls came back to the Enchanted Forest to find out how to help the Magic Unicorn get her magical things back. (go on a scavenger hunt) (This is where the Woodland Fairy should have asked another mom to take pictures. Fortunately we had another father videoing.) The Woodland Fairy sprinkled the girls - now unicorns - with pixie dust (clear heart shaped confetti which I'll be cleaning up for the next 10 years) so that they would be invisible in case they should run into the silly clumsy witch somewhere. But the witch would still be able to hear them so they had to be quiet. We say the magic words to make a clue appear in the magic silver fairy box: Bippity Boppity Boo - We need a clue. I read the clue out loud and then suddenly, we heard the witch (Craig in costume) coming down the stairs. The girls tiptoed around the house after each clue was read, repeatedly running into the witch to some hilarious giggles and screams, and bringing the unicorn's magic things back and putting them back on her. ( Sadly, I have no picture of the witch - maybe he'll dress up as her for Halloween and I can get a picture.)
In the end, the Magic Unicorn became magical again, we decided to give the witch her own unicorn horn and tail so she could be brave, strong and graceful, and the Magic Unicorn gave the girls one last clue to thank them for helping her. The clue led them to a basket full of unicorn purses - one for each of them - with a jeweled ring inside of each purse.

The final activity was a request by Kyra - a unicorn pinata. Due to a very rainy day - we did the pinata in the garage.

Each girl grabbed a ribbon and pulled together ( as opposed to swinging a bat a the poor thing) and were showered with candy and little prizes.

Kyra didn't want to open gifts in front of the girls because she doesn't like to be the center of attention, but one of her friends burst into tears begging her to open them. Kyra relented.

This is Kyra and her school bus buddy, Amanda, posing with 2 of the gifts Amanda gave her. Kyra loves the new Disney princess even though she hasn't seen the movie yet.

Kyra posing with the Magic Unicorn and a Unicorn horn lollipop sticking out of her forehead.

Was the party a lot of work? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes.

Was it worth it?

The smiles, the giggles, and the looks of awe on the girls' faces ...

The gigantic hug I got from Kyra right in the middle of the scavenger hunt...

Was it worth it?

It was priceless.

Country Roads, Take Me Home

2009-10-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

Liam's first trip home to meet family, attend his first Apple Butter Festival and enjoy the wilds of West Virginia was a huge success. His sweet, friendly, loving and sometimes hammy personality stole everyone's heart!

Liam Met Lots of Family - Including Pappy.

Friday night was the Drive By Fish Fry. That's when your uncle and aunt drive up in their pick up truck - unloading it to set up a fry station on the back porch and fry up their latest catches! I've never seen my kids eat so much fish!

After the fish fry, Aunt Mary Jo pulled out her antique apple peeler, corer, slicer. The kids had a great time cranking and eating.

Kyra especially loved the long one piece apple peels!

The next day was the Apple Butter Festival. We hung out on blankets with lots of relatives, listened to blue grass and old time music, ate, and shopped.

Kyra and Liam even got to stir a big kettle of apple butter!

Of course, there was a lot of time to do other fun stuff.

Like a puzzle with Uncle Travis...

Impersonate LaLa with a toothpick, newspaper and cup of coffee...

Have a tickle fest in the cradle Uncle Travis slept in when he was a baby.

The cradle was made by La La's father, Pap Pap.

Kyra celebrated her birthday a little early.

Cake with 2 other cousins who also have October birthdays: Loguen and Sveta.

A surprise cake at LaLa's that sent her crawling under the table with embarassment.

Liam's first rock throwing session at La La's river.

Decorating pumpkins - my handsome little man in his camo apron!

So sweet...

For the first few days, Liam would wake up and say "Home see Sophie. Peez." But after his first tractor and jeep rides....he didn't talk about Sophie much anymore.

Who needs college - Liam is going to be a big equipment operator!

He loved driving Granddaddy Buz's tractor!

He loved driving La La's red jeep!

Especially through the river!!!

My little bug lover found a woolyburger. Black,orange,black. Aunt Mary Jo says that means a cold beginning to winter, a medium cold middle to winter, and a cold ending.

Liam loved meeting all of his cousins. He was playing with them in no time - like he'd known them all of his life!

And in no time, our trip was coming to an end.

We took Kyra's traditional "Visit to La La's Jeep Picture".

And took Liam's first "Visit to La La's Jeep Picture".

(He's just so handsome!)

Then we were on the plane - heading home.

Kyra checked out the safety guidelines...

...which Liam found to be quite an interesting read!

What an experienced little flier!

And a great time was had by all!

Three Cheers for Mooncakes!

2009-10-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Kyra and Liam have started to do a little bit of imaginative play together as Liam's language progresses. Here they are enjoying a tea party!

Play- Doh is always fun - making and "baking" cookies.

It's really fun to feed the play doh cookies to daddy!

Liam's so proud of himself.

But how does he look like a baby one minute...

And a tough guy the next???

Somehow, over night, Kyra went from princess and fairy dress up to cheerleader and majorettes!

I think she's got some natural talent and he's definitely QB material!

I love this picture of Kyra even if it's a little out of focus - sheer happiness on her face.

Saturday October 3 was the Chinese Autumn Moon Festival. We couldn't look at the moon because it rained all evening, but Kyra and I did make some very westernized moon cakes.

Authentic moon cakes have, among other ingredients that western tastebuds would be unaccustomed to, a red bean paste filling. This recipe used jam! About the only resemblance to authentic mooncakes is that they were round like the moon! Well...most of them... : )

4 Month Update

2009-10-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

As of September 25th, Liam has been with our family for four months. Four months and six days ago was the unforgettable moment when I turned around and saw our son in my husband's arms for the first time. His face was emotionless until he looked at me and I started to cry. When I saw his little face scrunch up ready to cry, I pulled myself together and so did he. The next few moments are a blur in my mind. But I do remember that within the next hour, we had managed to get that blank little face to open his mouth wide open in surprise when he saw the cars we brought him roll across the floor. We even got a smile before we even left the building.

What we quickly noticed about Liam was how he would lift his little shoulders practically up to his ears when he was nervous or distressed. And how his arms always hung limply by his side - never holding on or wrapping around your neck. He had frighteningly perfect behavior for the first few days which, except for a week of hitting, biting and throwing things at Kyra, remained perfect the whole time we were in China. His eating habits were the most remarkably perfect thing about him. Even the waitresses were in awe of how well mannered our 2 1/2 year old was, holding his spoon carefully with a hand under it to catch drips and then carefully wiping his chin with his spoon and then his napkin. He was completely potty trained even in the night. Yet, his run was very baby-like and he couldn't sit up without rolling over first because his tummy muscles were so weak.

Four months later, Liam is a changed little man! His little face is never blank - it's always full of expression with lots of smiles. I can't even remember the last time I saw those little shoulders scrunch up. While his arms don't completely wrap tight around our neck -- there are lots of hugs and kisses from our sweet loving little boy. He has never struck out at Kyra since that week in China although he has endured many swats from Kyra as she struggles to adjust to her lost position as the only child. Liam clearly loves his sister dearly. Liam doesn't go to bed as easily in China, he loves to say the word "No!" and his table manners have become appropriately atrocious. Food in his hair and peas in his milk - he has made up for lost time in toddler food experimentation. He now wears a diaper 24/7 and has little interest in potty training. But he can run more like a 2 1/2 year old now, stay in a seated position on a slide instead of falling backwards and can come up in a sitting position with more ease - those little muscles are really toning up!

Liam has grown and matured in so many ways in four months. He has gotten taller and his feet have grown a size and a half! He rarely lays on his back and plays with his feet anymore, but I love it when he does. He's most baby-like when he's running around in nothing but his diaper and he's so delicious then that I could eat him up! But the next thing you know, he's strutting around in his jeans and sneakers with his hands on his hips and refusing to hold my hand so he can be like his sister, Kyra. The most amazing growth has been his language. He's gone from saying basic nouns like car, truck, mommy, daddy to putting words together to express thoughts and feelings. On a recent trip out with daddy while mommy went to dinner with a friend, Liam used his words to tell daddy what he was thinking. They were just getting to Chucky Cheese, when Liam said, "All done bye bye Daddy's car. Home. Mommy Home. Home Mommy." (I remain his preferred person in this world although he loves his daddy and proceeded to have a great time at Chucky Cheese with Daddy and Kyra.) Liam also uses phrases like, "Wait a minute." "Too tight." "Be back soon." He's still pretty hard to understand - Kyra is a great little translator though.

Liam has a wonderful imagination and loves imaginative play. Now that he can understand practically everything you say to him, we have great fun playing together. He loves to pretend he's going off to work or school or "My Gym". He grabs his computer or backpack and says, "Bye Mommy. (kisses me good-bye) I wuv you. Liam school. Be back soon" He then sits in his "car" and "drives" away. I sit there, looking at the ceiling, acting like I'm waiting and saying how much I miss Liam and hope he'll be back soon. And then he comes running over, "Liam home!" with a big hug.

Liam also loves to tell the only joke he knows (part of):

Knock Knock

(who's there?)

Nana!

(Banana who?)

He never gets to the "Orange" "Orange ya glad I didn't say Banana" part, but we laugh hysterically anyway and he's so proud of himself.

We continue to follow the attachment recommendations. I still give him a bottle of milk, holding it for him, making eye contact and talking to him about how I will always be his mommy and keep him safe. His eye contact is strong and long - that is so very important in attachment. I haven't begun talking to him about his birthparents or his story yet although I think of them often. I don't know what prevented his birthparents from keeping him, but I do know that they must miss him terribly. I wish I could tell them that he is safe and loved so very much.

He is such a precious love, and I can't imagine him not being part of our family. It's like he's been with us all of his life.

My sunshine on a rainy day.

Liam Meets Grandma June and Granddaddy B!!!

2009-09-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

Grandma June and Granddaddy B came to meet Liam and visit Kyra! Liam bonded with them right away!

Kyra was happy to see her grandma and granddaddy. Lots of laughs and smiles all around!
It was our first chilly weather of fall, but we made it to, as Kyra described it to Grandma June, "the best ice cream place in the whole world!" or something like that.

There was also lots of time spent playing around the house, a trip to the playground, and some yummy meals out.
We finished up the 5 day visit with a trip into Boston for a Duck Boat Tour. A history filled trip on land...
and on sea...well, the Charles River anyway. (Little Liam slept on most of the "sea" part, but woke up just in time to see some water.)

A fun time was had by all! Quack Quack!

It was a fun visit! Craig really enjoyed spending time with his folks and the kids really had fun with their grandparents. Of course, Mommy enjoyed having extra playmates around for Liam and Kyra! Visit anytime Grandma and Granddaddy!

Big Happenings at Our House!!

2009-09-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

The biggest happening at our house is... my baby girl lost her first tooth! She's not my baby girl anymore!

It was so tiny that it's a good thing we had LaLa's present to Kyra -

a tooth fairy bear that had a little pocket in front to put her tooth in!

The tooth fairy came and left her $5.00 for her first tooth!

Our next big happening was attending a reunion in Boston of some of the families we traveled to China with when we adopted Liam. It was so wonderful to see how well all of the kids are doing! Beautiful chubby little thighs and big smiles! They all looked so healthy and happy!

(Kyra hanging with the older brothers that traveled to China with us - and I thought she wouldn't like having a brother!)

What happy beautiful families!

We tried out Liam's trundle bed for the first time - my dream was that they would sleep in the trundle and I would sleep in the bed with no little feet in my face, legs or ribs. No go - we all ended up in my bed.

But how sweet it was watching Kyra read Liam stories.

Even though no one actually sleeps in his room, we finally got the letters painted to put his name over his bed. We'll always remember (and be able to tell) that Liam painted the A.

And here's a big preview of...

Halloween!

Little Bo Peep and her Sheep

I can't wait! You should hear Liam, "Baa!"

Finally, the most endearing greeting that happens everyday Monday-Friday at our bus stop.

A little boy running arms wide open to greet his big sis and her swinging him in circles.

(And Liam always waving, "Bye Bye Bus!")

Growth Spurt!!!!

2009-09-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

Liam has been refusing to wear his shoes. Kyra never wore shoes and ended up being diagnosed with sensory integration disorder. (Do all West Virginians have sensory integration disorder? We're famous for not wearing shoes!) I've seen some other signs of sensory integration disorder (most signs are the polar opposite of Kyra's signs) from Liam and just figured we were heading for possible therapy with him as well. But when I recently put Liam's sneakers on, he said ouch!

Off we went to the shoe store for measurements. I expected some growth, but what a surprise! Laim's feet grew 1 1/2 sizes in 3 months!!! From a size 6 to a size 7 1/2! No wonder he didn't want to wear shoes!!!

2009-09-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

Here he is! The 2009 Firemen's Calendar - Mr. May!!!! How cute is he????

From Calendars to Raspberry picking - Liam is a well rounded guy! Not really... Liam picked one raspberry, squished it in his hand and he was done. He proceeded to run barefooted up and down the raspberry rows. Kyra was a good little raspberry picker. She eventually got tired of picking and she and Liam ended up in tickling matches up and down the raspberry rows. And me without my camera! I had left it back in the car. They had a great time while I finished filling our 5 pint boxes.

As we got ready to leave, the man who took your money picked some golden raspberries for us. Kyra and I were pretty fascinated - we had never seen golden raspberries.
Kyra wanted to make a pie, but both kids were sound asleep by the time I got to the grocery store and didn't want to wake up. Kyra and I decided on raspberry cobbler instead. Kyra mixed it...

and licked the spoon!

Yummy! Daddy and I loved it - Kyra decided she likes plain fresh raspberries better.

When Liam isn't posing for calendars or running around raspberry patches, he's working with his tools...

"learning" to roller skate...

or riding around in our red convertible sportscar!!!! OK, so it's not quite the convertible I've always dreamed of, but....

Kyra and Liam are having a blast in it!

Our First Family Movie and Other Fun

2009-09-03T18:51:00.001-07:00

Our First Family Movie

We finally made it through our first family movie and the kids loved it!!! We had tried to take Kyra to Bee Movie last year, but only made it 40 minutes into the movie when a guy in the movie almost ate the bee on a guacomole chip and another guy in the movie screamed and then Kyra screamed and cried and all heads in the theatre turned to see what we were doing to our child! Needless to say, we left. This time we tried the movie "Ponyo". Liam settled right in like he'd be doing this for all 2 1/2 years of his life!

Kyra loved the movie, but still looked a little stressed.

Like her mother, she found solace in her box of chocolates.

Kaleidoscope Museum

One day while Kyra was in school, Liam and I made our way to the local children's museum for some fun. After "making pizza" out of felt ingredients, Liam decided to keep his hot mitt. Then he decided to be a mailman with a hot mitt and a mail bag.

Next he decided to drive a car with a hot mitt and a mail bag.

He also drove the firetruck with his hot mitt and mailbag.

And captained a pirate ship with his hott mitt and mail bag.

He even checked out one of the slides with....his hot mitt and his mailbag!

So what will he be when he grows up? Hmmm.....

A Fun Playdate

Here are two lovely princesses, Princess Kyra and Princess Avery, making "colored sand" with sand and chalk....

with help from their sidekicks (and siblings) Ella and Liam.

Daddy never ceases to be amazed at what he finds in our driveway when he gets home from work.

A Budding Artist

LaLa sent Liam a Lightening McQueen notebook. On Page 1 Liam put lots and lots of "Cars" stickers and drew "Tow Mater". (The blue art work inside the silver foil sticker border.)

Then Liam went to page 2 and drew a "pillow"....

and lay his head down on it.

I couldn't help but think of "Harold and the Purple Crayon."

Butterfly Boy (who wants to see himself on the camera..."pee (please), pee" )

I think Santa may need to bring some "boy" dress up clothes. Daddy's beginning to worry.

A Three Day Visit from the Uncles

2009-08-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

Uncle Andrew and Uncle Travis came to visit which means two extra playmates and lots of fun!

The Cupcake Makers!

A hot afternoon spent in our friends' pool

brought lots of water fun.

Like a face full of water!

Jello Snack with help from Uncle Travis.

The Golden Arches!

An awesome day trip to Maine with a huge surprise!

Our good friends from 4 hours away who have never met Liam yet were headed for Maine, too! We met up for a walk on the coast and a yummy lobster lunch.

Yep, they're the world's greatest uncles!

We can't wait until they visit again!

Kyra's First Day of Kindergarten - A River of Tears???

2009-08-26T17:55:00.000-07:00

Yes, today was the day. I knew it would come. And it did. Kyra was dressed in her new back to school outfit all ready to go.
Liam just kept saying "Liam school." "Liam school bus."
As we drove through the parking lot of the school, Kyra took her own self- portrait. Does this look like the face of a child who the teacher would have to pry out of her car seat????

Thankfully, it was the face of a little girl who was looking forward to her first day of kindergarten. The teacher opened the door and Kyra got right out with no tears. So who made the river of tears???? That would be mommy. It was a bittersweet moment.
At the end of the day, Liam and I went down to wait for the school bus. There was Kyra's little face in the front window of the bus. She was sitting with another little girl she knows. She came down the bus steps and ran over with a giant hug. Kyra told us she had a good day at school and learned a really funny song.
Mommy had flowers for her grown up little girl. Kyra then told me that she had actually cried at school. When? "It was the at the end. I didn't want to leave school." I can sleep peacefully tonight.

T'was the Night before Kindergarten

2009-08-25T19:29:00.001-07:00

T'was the night before kindergarten when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the mother. She was filling out paperwork, eating chocolate, and hyperventilating.

I can't believe my baby girl is starting kindergarten tomorrow. It was just yesterday that her Chinese nanny put my little muffin in my arms as I cried tears of happiness. Just yesterday I was giving her a bottle, changing her diapers, and watching her toddle down the hallway.

Today, I took her to meet her kindergarten teacher. Her first comment when she saw the teacher? "This will be my first teacher that wears glasses!" So we're off to a good start!

We waited in line in an unbelievably hot classroom to meet her teacher. Kyra could barely mumble out hello and then headed to the door while I gave a letter to the teacher warning her that drop off might not go very well. Traditionally, the teachers have had to pry Kyra off my leg. This year they'll have to pry her out of her car seat if she has separation problems. I'm worried. This will be harder for me than for her!

This evening she told her daddy that her teacher was really nice. That's a good sign!

And then she showed me that she's really starting to grow up. Kyra very seriously said, "Mommy, I'm a little bit excited about tomorrow and a little bit not excited. I want to learn to read, but I don't want to be away from you."

And then, the cherry on top of the sundae - Kyra is going to ride the school bus home. I don't know if I can bear to see her little face in the window of a big schoolbus. I think she's a little scared of the school bus and I think Liam is going to be A LOT jealous!

And I heard him exclaim as the bus drove out of sight, "Mommy, when can I ride a school

bus?"

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2009-08-21T18:02:00.000-07:00

I was in a wrestling match with Liam and his toothbrush the other day. It wasn't so much that he didn't want his teeth brushed, but he was more interested in everything else on the bathroom counter. It was the end of a long stay-at-home mommy day with no husband in sight. My frustration was increasing and I finally mumbled, "Oh, somebody, please deliver me from this nightmare." Kyra came in from the hallway and said, "Mommy, I'll go get you a box." I asked, "A box? What for?" Kyra's answer --- "To deliver you in!"

Another funny story told by a friend of mine about her daughter, who is also adopted from China and a close friend of Kyra's. You must know that we live in a very non- racially diverse area where many of the Asian children are little girls adopted from China. I knew that Liam would no doubt turn out to be the only Chinese boy at all of our Chinese adoptive family gatherings and, it seems that his fan club has already started....

My friend's 5 year old daughter was sitting in the back of the car while my friend was driving. The daughter suddenly said, "Mom, I'm going to marry a Chinese boy." A few moments of silence, and then the daughter asked, "Mom, where am I going to find a Chinese boy? " Her mother explained that as her daughter got older she would meet more people in high school and college. The daughter thought about this for a few minutes and then said, "Yeah, and there's always Liam."

: )

My Baby Girl???

2009-08-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

Kyra has her first loose tooth and starts kindergarten next week. What happened to my baby girl????

Daddy's Car - Vroom Vroom

2009-08-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

What is it with boys and cars? Little Boys or Big Boys - they love things with wheels! Liam is absolutely no exception. A true love of all things with wheels is hard wired in his little brain and it just amazes me. There is positively nothing better for Liam than to go "Bye Byes Car". A large part of any ride involves the following statements made repeatedly by Liam as he spies vehicle after vehicle out the window :

"Mommy, Car!" "Mommy, Tow Mater!" "Mommy, Truck!" "Mommy, Tractor" "Mommy, race car!" "Mommy, motorcycle!" "Mommy, bicycle!" "Mommy, Doc Hudson!" "Mommy, Fire Truck!" "Mommy, Airplane!" "Mommy, Lightening McQueen!"

Liam especially loves his daddy's mid-life crisis car - a little silver Mazda RX-8 with some kind of jacked up really, really loud muffler. "Daddy's Car! Vroom! Vroom!" And what is the best thing about Liam's love for daddy's mid-life crisis car? When Mommy needs to go out or needs some time at home alone, all we have to say is, "Liam! Bye Bye in Daddy's Car?" Liam grabs his shoes and heads out the door smiling and waving, "Bye Mommy!" No tears - just a huge happy smile. Liam cozies up in the mini backseat of Daddy's car - looks around with a big smile and says, "Liam's Car! Vroom! Vroom!"

And when Liam isn't busy checking out all the other vehicles from his back seat view - he's singing along with John Denver.

Square One

2009-07-31T04:34:00.000-07:00

I went out last night leaving Liam with Daddy --- Liam cried on and off (more on than off) for 45 minutes. : ( Are we back to square one? And why? : (

Making Progress!

2009-07-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

I left Liam in his daddy's arms this evening to go run errands and Liam didn't cry!!!! He just smiled, waved bye and blew me kisses!!!! This is huge!!!!!!! I'm so happy -- it tells me he's feeling more confident and secure.

Liam also slept through the night last night with no crying in his sleep. Another great sign!

We had Liam's Early Intervention Evaluation this morning. I was a bit concerned about visual spatial skills and his funny little run. Liam wowed the evaluators and me! They said his funny little run is due to low muscle tone, but it's not low enough to qualify for services. Liam didn't qualify for any services!!! Yea!!!!! They said he is a smart little boy and developmentally on target. Music to my ears! They can't offer services for language because he hasn't been here long enough. They're not concerned because he's a little parrot and although they couldn't understand much of what he was saying - they want to give him time to become more comfortable with our language.

Kyra was a jewel during Liam's evaluation. She helped the evaluators by modeling tasks for him and sat patiently while he worked on different tasks. She was awesome!

And to top it all off - Liam asked to go in his crib at bedtime. He played with his Fisher-Price aquarium and then lay down and fell asleep in his crib!

We LOVE progress!!!!

Summer Fun and Favorite Photos

2009-07-23T18:20:00.001-07:00

It's been a rainy, cloudy summer here, but we've managed to have some fun times and take some fun photos. Here are my favorites.

Liam's Entrance to the Boxing Ring

Beautiful Kyra on a Rare Sunny Day

Liam on the Red Carpet at Kyra's Princess Camp

Kyra the Model

Washing Dishes in the Driveway

Dumping Bubbles in the Driveway

Drawing with Chalk on His Own Feet in the Driveway

A PlayDate in the Driveway

A Quick Slide Through the Yard!

A Relaxing Ride at the Amusement Park

(the only ride Liam would ride!)

Giving Baby Brother His Bottle - Sweet!

Traditional Chinese Dress at Culture Camp

The Ice Cream Truck Came up Our Street!!!!

It Never Comes Up Our Street!!!!

We Got to Eat Dessert Before Lunch!!!!

Gotta Love Summer!

And in order to have time for all of these fun activities, Liam has come up with the ultimate time saver. Wash your dishes AND your hair at the same time!!!

3 Beautiful Words - I Wu Woo

2009-07-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight, for the first time, as Liam lay in bed and I said, "I Love You". He replied, "I Wu Woo".

I said "Oh thank you Liam!" and he leaned over and kissed me. aaaaahhhhh. Melt my heart.

( I must thank LaLa for teaching him to say, "I Wu Woo" during their almost daily phone conversations!)

There are 3 other words he says that just really get to me. He loves to go bye bye in the car. When we return from our trip and pull into the garage, he always says "Dank ew Bye Bye Caw."

He thanks me for going bye byes in the car!!!! How sweet is that!!!

Thank you, Liam, for being such a sweetheart.

Liam's Progress

2009-07-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

The greatest news is that Liam's latest giardia tests came back negative! Yea! He still has mushy poos, but the doctor said that could last up to a year.

The next greatest news is that Liam has grown a half inch in 6 weeks and hasn't lost any weight from the giardia! Yea! 6 weeks ago, he could just barely reach his tricycle pedals - and now he can put his whole foot on the pedals and pedal away! He's very pleased with himself!

His language improves everyday. He's understanding more, parroting everything, saying more words to communicate needs, wants, and thoughts, and is even putting some two word sentences together.

He still cries in his sleep at night, but now calms quickly when I touch him and say, "Mommy's here." It's so sad to think of what must be going on in his dreams.

He continues to love Sophie just a bit too much. I don't think he's intentionally tormenting her, but he does. Poor Sophie.

Liam is very attached to me, but won't let me leave him - not even with Daddy. It makes me afraid that he's going to be as insecurely attached as Kyra, but I hope not.

Most of the time, Liam is just a very happy boy which makes us very happy parents.

Liam's First Fourth and Kyra's Fourth Fourth!

2009-07-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

Our family's first 4th of July as a family of 4 began with a small town parade...

followed by fun in the park...

and ended with a cook out and pool party with good friends.

Kyra had her first slide down our friend's poolside slide!

Liam had his own private pool at the pool party. Even though he loved all the cars, trucks and tractors in the parade - the highlight of his day was watching our friend's dog, Bronson, chase bubbles.

We hope everyone's 4th of July was a great one!